Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
🎅📸 "Looks like Santa's lap isn't just for kids anymore! 🤭 Time flies when you're having fun, or maybe when you're on the naughty list… 😜🎄 #SantaSelfies #WhereDidTheTimeGo"

activity, believe, childhood, found, fun, fun activity, hard, holiday, lap, me, nostalgia, picture, Santa, sitting, whole, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Most people don’t listen at all, they just wait until they can continue talking.

2 months ago

communication, conversation, humor, just, listen, listening, people, talking, wait
Sharpening a pencil at the bin was the childhood equivalent of taking a cigarette break.

2 months ago

activity, bin, break, childhood, cigarette, equivalent, humor, nostalgia, pencil, school, sharpening, taking
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

3 months ago

cause, happiness, humor, irony, whenever, wherever
Yes, we absolutely can push our meeting to sometime after the new year, or mid-March, or the year after next, or never.

1 month ago

absolutely, after, delay, humor, management, meeting, never, new, next, procrastination, push, sarcasm, scheduling, time, time management, year, yes
Sorry, can’t. I’m too busy growing new neural pathways to make space for a stranger’s opinion. Evolution takes bandwidth, man.

2 months ago

bandwidth, boundary, busy, evolution, growing, growth, health, humor, independence, man, mental, mental health, neural, neural pathway, new, opinion, pathway, personal, personal growth, sarcasm, self-care, sorry, space, strangers, too
My superpower is always picking the line at the grocery store that moves the slowest.

2 months ago

frustration, grocery, grocery store, humor, line, patience, shopping, slow, store, superpower

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Instagram this month:

Eating Chinese takeout is never as depressing as in the movies. It usually is good.

88 shares on Telegram this month:

Unfortunately, it only strengthens my spirit when the summer people mourn their terrible season.

62 shares on YouTube this month:

I know it’s traditional to start work at 9, but I think we could lower that age to 8.

98 shares on YouTube this month:

How does pasta water know when you’re not looking?

40 shares on Slack this month:

After a vacation, I usually return to work with a fresh, reenergized hatred for my job.

75 shares on WeChat this month:

Have you ever been so hungry but had no food in the house, so you took a nap instead?

83 shares on Instagram this month:

Today, I changed a light bulb and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.

30 shares on Facebook this month:

Ironically people who are good at giving advice find it difficult to follow their own.

24 shares on YouTube this month:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this cigarette just now.

80 shares on Discord this month:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Sometimes I wish I had a speed bump between my brain and my mouth.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

One minute you’re young and carefree. The next minute you can feel in your knee when it starts to rain.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

If you’re having trouble finding the match to one of your socks, throw it away and the missing one will immediately show up. Follow me for more life hacks.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

What pushes you to watch 19 seasons of people in a hospital?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

The subtle art of surviving this life with grace and dignity.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Easiest way to ragebait a finance bro is to start the ‘why can’t we print more money’ conversation.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

A little mischievousness is good for the soul.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Your opinions are not my business.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

If I ask “What’s your zodiac sign?” it’s either because we’re vibing or you’re getting on my nerves.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Roman soldiers are all like “I’m going to fight you in this short yet tasteful leather skirt.”

Seen just now on Facebook:

Some people find it strange when you talk to your pet. I find conversations with some people much stranger.

Just shared via WeChat:

My kids acting shocked there’s ants in my car like they’re not Hansel and Gretel leaving bloody crumb trails.

Making waves on Discord:

If someone wants to spend time with you, they’ll let you know. Get rid of those people.

Making waves on YouTube:

Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

Shared recently on WeChat:

Called in telepathically this morning, so they know I’m thinking of them.

Going viral on Slack:

The fun thing about Airbnb is that you get to clean someone else’s house on your vacation.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Everything is 10 times funnier when you are supposed to be quiet.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Sometimes I’ll call in, disguise my voice, and insist on speaking to me, or I’ll take my business elsewhere.

Just shared via Slack:

My boss doesn’t want dogs in the office. But he didn’t say anything about alpacas.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Found a picture of me sitting on Santa’s lap. Hard to believe it’s been a whole year.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Most people don’t listen at all, they just wait until they can continue talking.

Sharpening a pencil at the bin was the childhood equivalent of taking a cigarette break.

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

Yes, we absolutely can push our meeting to sometime after the new year, or mid-March, or the year after next, or never.

Sorry, can’t. I’m too busy growing new neural pathways to make space for a stranger’s opinion. Evolution takes bandwidth, man.

My superpower is always picking the line at the grocery store that moves the slowest.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨