Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.
  • Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.
  • When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying ‘Haven’t decided yet’ is typically a good response.
  • Everyone’s a gangster until they turn a spoon the wrong way under running water.
  • The only ex I cheated on is my exam.
  • When you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants, so it’s illegal to dig it up. Follow me for more gardening tips!