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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

“Are you okay?” No, it’s literally Monday every 15 minutes.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Hair is unwashed, so I obviously feel like I’m fundamentally unlovable.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Every laptop should have a “cat” button that disables the keyboard so they can nap.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

I hate interviewing. Just hire me. I stand on business, for real.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Life is too short. Tell his mom what he did to you.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Just had a salad but it didn’t make me laugh like women in stock photos.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

It’s important to set an alarm the first day of school, so you remember to pick up the kids.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Am I just getting older, or are people getting more annoying?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Dentists get rich by staring into your mouth for 30 seconds, playing sinking ships with their assistant, and then telling you to brush better.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,578

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

Congratulations to the sweater, another year of being the most disgustingly named piece of clothing.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Sorry, I would love to, but I just made a bunch of rules for myself, and I’m actually not allowed to do that.

Trending via Instagram:

My brain is on airplane mode today.

Shared recently on YouTube:

In an effort to keep our house clean before Thanksgiving, I’ve asked my family to go live somewhere else.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

Going bananas on Discord:

Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

Spotted on Twitch:

Twitter is like a psych ward with no staff.

Shared recently on Facebook:

To everyone I offended this year: do better next year, so I don’t have to do it again.

Making waves on Facebook:

Dry January is out. Sopping Wet February is in.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I think the key to happiness is having plenty of money and then telling all the poor people that money can’t buy happiness.

Funny 48 Laws of Power quotes

New funny 48 Laws of Power quotes 👇

You can’t ’48 Laws of Power’ me.

0

3 days ago

48, 48 Laws of Power, book, humor, laws, me, power

Fresh post – no country stats yet.

Social activity data coming soon…

All funny 48 Laws of Power quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on WeChat this month:

Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

71 shares on X this month:

Always remember, if you ever need me, I’m just several phone calls and unread texts away.

63 shares on Pinterest this month:

I hate everyone in front of me at this checkout line, everyone behind me is cool.

23 shares on Discord this month:

It is a mistake to say that the people who live a hundred years from now will have nothing to laugh at. They can laugh at us.

13 shares on Reddit this month:

Making friends as an adult is wild because there’s so much lore to catch up on. You’ll be 3 years in and still get random drops like, ‘Oh, by the way, I used to be married.’

78 shares on Facebook this month:

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

57 shares on Slack this month:

A gentleman always straightens out the vending machine after shaking it.

40 shares on WeChat this month:

The fastest mammal on earth is the smartass on the web.

14 shares on Facebook this month:

Sometimes, before bedtime, I fall asleep on the couch. It’s my little sleep appetizer… my nappetizer.

14 shares on WeChat this month:

The day your kids stop waking up early on the weekend is the same day your body stops letting you sleep in.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

The government always waits until the last minute to prevent a shutdown, much like my approach to paying taxes.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

I always make sure the garage door is shut. Wouldn’t want hoodlums stealing the stuff I’ve been meaning to get rid of for years.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Somebody needs to get my shit together.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

“PTO” stands for “prepare the others” because you’re not gonna be there.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

I do block people right away; you’re not going to stress me out on my own phone, with my own internet, and in my own house.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Snapchat:

I’m still annoyed that you can catch Covid more than once. I can’t explain why, but it feels kind of rude.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I hate it when I’m gossiping at work and a customer wants to be served. How rude is that?

Making waves on Discord:

I don’t have a nervous system, I am a nervous system.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Pugs look like regular dogs that ran into a door at full speed.

Making waves on YouTube:

Remember, you don’t have to worry about being around annoying people in public if you never leave the house.

Just shared via WeChat:

Born to say “are you f*****g stupid”, forced to say “wow, I’ve never thought about it like that before”.

Going bananas on Threads:

Life’s too short to remove the USB drive safely.

Shared recently on Reddit:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And the haters? They were right. They were correct. They even nailed the small details, frankly it’s amazing.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

The best thing about work is the coffee machine and the drive home.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

If my memory gets any worse, I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny 48 Laws of Power quotes

New funny 48 Laws of Power quotes 👇

You can’t ’48 Laws of Power’ me.

All funny 48 Laws of Power quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨