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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

People out there having five-year plans, and here I am waking up just hoping I remember what day it is.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Kinda in the mood to let my feelings impair my judgement.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought to myself, “Wow, this changes everything.”

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

You’re a “haha” girl, and I’m an “lol” guy. It just wouldn’t work.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Hell hath no fury like a sports bra being applied to a just showered but not 100% dry body.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

You’d think the thing in my house with the most cat hair on it would be my cat.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

I just wish I had the confidence of my husband who thinks everything only takes 5 minutes.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Have you fallen in love with me yet, or do I need to post more nonsense?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

My doctor just diagnosed me with anxiety and constipation. Now I’m worried shitless.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Heartbreaking: Introvert sentenced to 100 hours of hanging out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

Updated

20 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

My friend and I had a running joke. She said, “Let’s do a marathon,” and then we both laughed.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I need a weighted blanket that won’t let me get out of bed in the morning.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Wolves are just dogs that nobody has called a “good boy” yet.

Breaking via YouTube:

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

Making waves on Messenger:

My house was clean yesterday. Sorry, you missed it.

Just landed via Threads:

I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

Going viral on Slack:

Juggling screen time is the ultimate multitasking Olympics.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I may be the reason why our kids are ugly, but you’re the reason why they’re stupid.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

What is the morning wood equivalent for women, and why do I always have it?

Breaking via TikTok:

“I’m not afraid to admit when I’m wrong. For example, I thought it was a good idea to leave the house today, which, as it turns out, was a terrible mistake.”

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Funny adult problems quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

Updated

20 minutes ago

Users Online

3,459

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Many men also have a walk-in closet. For them, it’s just called a floor.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

People who leave the blinds closed the entire plane ride: who hurt you?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Counting calories is a great way to combine super fun things like math and not eating.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Don’t feel bad if you don’t succeed on your first try. It took Michael Angelo sixteen chapels.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Dance like China isn’t watching.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Tried to sleep by reading a boring book and now it’s suddenly the most interesting book.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Playdates were invented to force parents into cleaning their home.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Welcome to your 50s, your knees will now decide when you will sit down.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

They did so well traumatizing us about teen pregnancy, I’m still traumatized as an adult.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Shouldn’t autocorrect be called autoassume?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

Make your salad taste better by putting it between bread, meat, cheese, and Big Mac sauce.

Just landed via X:

The French only eat snails because they don’t like fast food.

Going viral on Threads:

The title of my autobiography is going to be ‘You’d Think I’d Learn By Now, But Nope.’

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Unfortunately for the haters, I will continue to keep being me.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I love being single because how could I explain a 2 p.m. – 5 p.m. nap on a Saturday.

Just landed via Discord:

Life would be so much simpler if you could just smack the stupid out of people instead having to reason with them.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

After 30, an all-nighter is not getting up to pee.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Diet hack: Spend your money filling up your gas tank so you won’t have money for groceries.

Trending via Slack:

My phone screen is brighter than my future.

Making waves on TikTok:

I hate porn that starts off with sex. I need to know why they have sex.

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