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215 Funny advice quotes

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5 months ago
Share →: Getting a girlfriend is actually very easy, you just have to spin a basketball on your finger.

Commentary:
"Ah, yes, the ancient art of basketball spin to unlock the mysteries of dating 🏀💕 Who knew finding love was just a stylish finger move away? 😉 Just remember to keep your balance – in both basketball and relationships! 🔄 #RelationshipGoals"
5 months ago
Share →: I can’t wait for my mom to come to my new house so she can tell me how I organized the kitchen wrong.

Commentary:
"Oh, the anticipation of a mother's kitchen scrutiny! 🤣🍴 It's like a rite of passage, right? Who else is eagerly awaiting the inevitable rearrangement of kitchen cupboards and drawers? 🙋‍♂️ #MomKnowsBest #KitchenMakeover"
5 months ago
Share →: Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

Commentary:
"Who needs a therapist when you've got an expert like yourself on speed dial? 🤔💁‍♂️😂 #SelfTalkGoals"
5 months ago
Share →: I always take two stairs at a time, that way if I fall, it’s only half the distance.

Commentary:
"Optimism at its finest! 🙌 Watch out, gravity, we've got a cunning strategist over here! 😂 Who knew stair climbing could double as a risk management strategy? 🤔 Stay safe and keep reaching for the stars, one step at a time! 🌟🚶‍♂️ #SafetyFirst #WittyQuotes"
5 months ago
Share →: If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.

Commentary:
"You know you're in trouble when forgetting your wife's birthday feels like playing a dangerous game of memory roulette! 🎲💔 Mark those calendars, gentlemen! #LivingOnTheEdge"
5 months ago
Share →: Learn from the mistakes of others, you can never live long enough to make them all yourself.

Commentary:
"Listen up, folks! 💡 Why make all the mistakes in the world when you can simply borrow others'? It's like fast-tracking your way to wisdom without the extra bruises and embarrassing moments! 🚀🤭 Keep your ego in check and observe – it's the shortcut to a smooth ride through life! 🌟🚗"
5 months ago
Share →: The easiest way to shop with kids is not to.

Commentary:
"Who needs a workout when you can just take your kids shopping? 💪🛒💸 Just kidding, maybe online shopping is the way to go! 🛍️👩‍👧‍👦 #ParentingProblems"
5 months ago
Share →: Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Commentary:
"Who needs sleep when you can have a good old-fashioned argument instead? 💤🥊 Just remember, bruised egos heal faster than a bad night's rest! 😂 #RelationshipGoals"
5 months ago
Share →: I don’t need your flipping advice, I am capable of ruining my life on my own.

Commentary:
"Ah, a true expert in the art of self-destruction! 🎭 Who needs GPS when you've got your own special way of finding the rocky road? 🛣️ Just remember to wear a hard hat on your journey to chaos! 🚧🤦‍♂️"
5 months ago
Share →: Please no more relationships that are supposed to be a lesson. I’m already quite the scholar.

Commentary:
"Who knew relationships could come with a syllabus? 📚🤓 Maybe it's time to apply for that 'Advanced heartbreak' course and earn yourself a PhD in Dating Drama! 😂 #RelationshipScholar"