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Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Ever been in the car with someone who drives so fast that you press your imaginary brakes on the passenger side?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

I wish I could join, but I’m busy plotting revenge because my kids laughed when I showed them I can shake it better than Shakira.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

You’re so productive for your wage.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Every time someone tries to fight with me online, a middle finger gets its wings.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Only after moving in together do you realize your girlfriend’s little quirks. Mine, for example, stores vegetables in the beer compartment.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m pretending to be a hot girl on Tinder so I can match with my roommate and tell him I’m coming over, so he’ll clean the apartment.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

If it’s one thing we’ve learned hiking, it’s the early bird that gets the face full of spiderwebs.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Who are these people that buy unsalted butter on purpose?

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

“Left alone” would have been the right answer as a child to the question of what I wanted to be when I grew up.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

If you don’t fall in love with me, I’ll write poetry about you and then you’ll regret it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,739

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Reddit:

Your girlfriend needs two hours to get ready. But if you don’t have your shoes on when she’s ready, you’re the problem.

Seen just now on Discord:

You know what’s worse than someone’s phone alarm playing the tune over and over? Someone else who starts whistling along.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Why is Saturday over in 7 minutes and Sunday in 4 minutes, but Monday is 84 months long?

Trending via WeChat:

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

Making waves on Messenger:

Gonna tell my dentist that if I’m late, he should start without me.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

Going viral on TikTok:

So rude to come up with solutions to my excuses.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

There’s nothing like sitting by an open fire and watching the evidence burn.

Going viral on Discord:

I used to be cool and now I say things like “It’s so loud in here, I can’t hear myself think”.

Spotted on TikTok:

You can be anything when you grow up. For instance, I am very tired.

Home » Funny Animals Vs Humans Quotes

Funny animals vs humans quotes

New funny animals vs humans quotes 👇

I wish my doctor would put down a little treat to distract me like my vet does for my dog.

0

2 months ago

animals, animals vs humans, comparison, distraction, doctor, dog, healthcare, humans, humor, i, little, me, put, treat, vet, vs, wish

All funny animals vs humans quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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67 shares on WeChat this month:

“I’m fluent in creating worst-case scenarios in my head.”

73 shares on Reddit this month:

My rapper name would be 2 stressd.

45 shares on Threads this month:

Good morning to everyone except my baby, who already said good morning to me at 1 a.m., 3 a.m., and 5:46 a.m.

75 shares on Slack this month:

Nobody sighs louder than an unemployed, debt-free dog who spends at least 16 hours a day sleeping.

37 shares on Slack this month:

I want my house spotless, but kicking my kids out seems wrong.

35 shares on Threads this month:

Just had a salad but it didn’t make me laugh like women in stock photos.

86 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t understand how some people find love several times in their lives. I first have to find someone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

80 shares on Messenger this month:

This alien invasion could have been an email.

78 shares on Messenger this month:

My body is a machine that turns pizza into diarrhea.

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

One thing I love about the internet is seeing some of the most hateful people posting inspirational quotes.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Hanging out with your parents as an adult is so interesting, cause it’s like, “Oh, so that’s why I’m like this.”

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Man, it sucks having no kids. All I do is whatever I want, all the time.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

There’s nothing like the first two months with a man when he’s still pretending to be a good person.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

There’s nothing like sitting by an open fire and watching the evidence burn.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

I would only enjoy the Met Gala if at the end of that runway they all walked into a volcano.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

I’m on a spinning rock in outer space, and I have to answer work emails.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Any room can be a rage room if you just give me a minute.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I got a lot of Jedi advice for somebody who could be turned to the dark side by moderate traffic.

Just shared via Snapchat:

What’s a good career for people with no motivation or talent?

Live now on Slack:

Aside from cocaine, has anyone figured out what that little pocket on your jeans is for?

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Where do I sign up to be one of those influencers with 2M followers whose whole thing is just standing in front of other people’s content and nodding?

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

It’s my birthday, but I’m not gonna post about it for attention like some kind of loser.

Just shared via X:

Whenever I’m sad, you’re there. Whenever I have problems, you’re there. Whenever I lose control, you’re there. Let’s face it, you are bad luck.

Going viral on Twitch:

Female rage is your handbag continuously slipping off your shoulder.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Men be like, “I want you.” Yeah, to suffer.

Seen just now on X:

The highest act of rebellion is to relax unconditionally.

Just shared via Facebook:

I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.

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Funny animals vs humans quotes

New funny animals vs humans quotes 👇

I wish my doctor would put down a little treat to distract me like my vet does for my dog.

All funny animals vs humans quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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