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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

I never forget to eat, but I do eat to forget.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

After ten true crime podcasts you start to think you could probably solve a murder. After a hundred you start to think you could probably get away with one.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Right before rock bottom, you’ll have a city builder game on your phone.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

The web is the only place where you encourage strangers to follow you. What could possibly go wrong?

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

When you want to feel at your thinnest, walk through Walmart at any time of day.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

You should be able to mute someone in real life. Annoying coworker? Silence them for 24 hours by booping them on the nose!

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

I used to think “9 to 5” means a job from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Has anyone ever considered that Dr. Pepper could be a gynecologist?

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

I hate math, but I love counting money.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

I always take responsibility for my actions when there is no one else around to blame.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,347

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

I’m sorry for inventing the universe.

Making waves on WeChat:

I’m not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

There are two quantities of popcorn: not enough and what have I done

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

The nicest thing I’ve done for a date is turn up.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Pregnancy is crazy. You really come home with someone you don’t know, with no teeth.

Spreading quickly via X:

When I die, I want to come back as a speed bump so I can piss people off.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Drove by a woman with her car broke down, I was going to stop and help until I remembered I don’t know anything about cars or women.

Making waves on Messenger:

I quit boxing the moment I realized my opponent was allowed to punch me in the face, too.

Trending via Discord:

Shark tooth necklaces are the perfect accessory if you want to look tough but also tell the world, “I’ve been to a gift shop.”

Live now on YouTube:

My wife called to tell me she saw a fox on the way to work. I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work. She hung up on me.

Funny bedroom set quotes

New funny bedroom set quotes 👇

A Jackie Chan fight scene where he’s in an IKEA warehouse and he fights off dudes with furniture pieces, but by the end he’s accidentally assembled it all into a complete Malm bedroom set.

2 weeks ago

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All funny bedroom set quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on Discord this month:

Why did they call it painting your toenails and not graffeeti?

24 shares on WeChat this month:

Took a personality test and the results just said “uh-oh”

44 shares on Threads this month:

Why hasn’t Lululemon created a bra-line named Lulumelons?

38 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t care if my parents are disappointed in me, I’m not impressed by them either.

13 shares on Discord this month:

Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Gonna eat birthday cake all day because it’s someone’s birthday out there, and we’re about to celebrate together, stranger.

16 shares on YouTube this month:

Back to work after the long holiday weekend, so you’re finally away from the relatives you don’t like, and back with the co-workers you don’t like.

30 shares on X this month:

Stop eating cakes with the fakes and come eat a bundt with a cundt.

11 shares on WeChat this month:

If I meet you at a party and you instantly start asking about my job, you are subhuman to me.

26 shares on YouTube this month:

Getting older is so fun. Your life goals slowly transition from things like ‘land a dream job’ to ‘successfully grow a cherry tomato.’

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

You know the trouble with real life? There’s no danger music.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Convinced my kid her harmonica didn’t work because the instructions were missing.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Zoom is really only for one thing: realizing our dream of staring at ourselves while talking to other people.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Just emerged from my Y2K bunker. Everybody okay?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

I wonder if my bank account thinks about me and has panic attacks.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

It’s not that I want more shoes, it’s just that they keep making them in my size.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Thanksgiving should be called Feaster.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

The best way to enjoy your tea while the world is falling apart around you is to remember that the world has always been falling apart around you.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

Good morning to everyone except the people who are missing the ability to read the room.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Apologies for the delays. The suitcase smashing machine has broken down, so we’re having to smash suitcases by hand.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Twitter when Franz Ferdinand got shot would have been the best day ever.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Abandoned amusement parks are so creepy. It’s no wonder they were abandoned.

Breaking via TikTok:

I don’t like the person I become when my boss tells me I should be working while at work.

Going bananas on Discord:

I don’t need a midlife crisis. My whole life is a crisis.

Freshly posted on X:

What if babies had two umbilical cords and if you cut the wrong one, it exploded?

Just landed via Slack:

Bedrotting is so nice. Just lying in bed, using your phone comfortably.

Just landed via WeChat:

Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny bedroom set quotes

New funny bedroom set quotes 👇

A Jackie Chan fight scene where he’s in an IKEA warehouse and he fights off dudes with furniture pieces, but by the end he’s accidentally assembled it all into a complete Malm bedroom set.

All funny bedroom set quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨