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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Having to pee when you’re driving is problematic. Having to sneeze when you’re driving is even more problematic.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

I can’t finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Why is Saturday over in 7 minutes and Sunday in 4 minutes, but Monday is 84 months long?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Rapunzel, let down your CVS receipt!

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

“Hope you’re enjoying the sunshine!” No, I’m at a desk reading your email.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Some people are living bowel movement to bowel movement.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Nobody has ever been given a cheeseburger and been upset about it.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Watermelon. The fruit that comes with a workout.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Oh right, like you’ve never let your kids stay lost in a corn maze just a little longer.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Shouldn’t it have been called the ‘not answering machine’?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2155 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,317

Funny Quotes Topics

15,045

Funny Quotes Images

12,317

Updated

1 second ago

Users Online

3,456

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

Breaking News: No matter how close you are with your colleagues, never discuss your personal matters at work. Neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Seen just now on Discord:

The ’90s were a time of blissful ignorance where we expected rock stars to sleep with groupies.

Trending via Pinterest:

Jane Austen gave us men who crossed fields in the rain. Mine left me on read, and liked someone else’s story.

Shared recently on Discord:

Yes, my date did get up and leave during dinner, but luckily she hadn’t finished her food.

Just landed via Reddit:

Can someone please fix the algorithm of my life?

Just landed via Telegram:

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’m at the age where any time my mom asks if I remember so-and-so from high school, the news is never good.

Just landed via Reddit:

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

You can just make up words and if you say them in a Scottish accent, people will think they’re real: Looka the wee janglers on that tary bibbit.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2155 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,317

Funny Quotes Topics

15,045

Funny Quotes Images

12,317

Updated

1 second ago

Users Online

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

During winter, it’s either lazy starvation or eight thousand calories in one sitting.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Just saw my evil doppelganger speed away in a DeLorean. I’m sure it’s fine.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Through repetition and sheer will I’ve mastered gracefully falling on my head.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

I eat my first meal of the day in the afternoon, bro. Don’t ask me for advice.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

You didn’t let me know you got home safely so you better at least be injured or I’m gonna be pissed.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

When I get to work, I always hide first, because a good worker is always hard to find.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Quickie so fast, it’s called secs.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

I love how every website has a “Keep me signed in on this computer” button and it’s just straight up bullshit.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

“Hope you’re enjoying the sunshine!” No, I’m at a desk reading your email.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I can always tell what part of my cycle I’m in by how concerned my friends are over my Tweets.

Live now on Reddit:

Dating these days is like trusting a crackhead to come back with your change.

Spotted on Reddit:

Brains are funny. I can remember every word to a song I haven’t heard in 20 years, but I’ve got no clue what my email password is.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Having a low quality camera will definitely force you to keep your life private.

Making waves on Messenger:

Gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme casual attire.

Going viral on WeChat:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

Reported on Messenger:

A credit card is kind of like a gift card to every store.

Spotted on Discord:

A vibrator is amazing but it doesn’t call me “good girl” unfortunately.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Grab your own butt! Love yourself!

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