Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

There’ll be a time someone will convince you to watch Game of Thrones. It is very important that you listen to them and watch.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Even at my most powerful, I’m still a little sleepy.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Practicing how I’m gonna explain to the aliens that baseline and Vaseline do not sound the same.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

That stupid look on my face is my face.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Shy with a mean resting face is a crazy combo.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

First rule of cleaning while listening to music: the toilet brush is never the microphone. Never!

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

If my trainee says “oh God” one more time, he’s going to meet him.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Despite popular opinion, dating apps are NOT for dating. They are for finding people to watch your Instagram story for years and years.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Unfortunately, I’m gonna have to cancel my appointment at a sperm bank. I will just call them and say I can’t come.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Sometimes I wish I had a speed bump between my brain and my mouth.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,728

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

“My reading glasses would look good on your nightstand.” -Me, flirting.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Turning regret into ulcers since the day I was born.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Thank you, God, for another day. Let’s get this 12-hour screen time.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

Trending via Slack:

I’m really into writing short fiction, mainly to-do lists.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I’ve done the math and I regret to inform you I’m your soulmate.

Just landed via Reddit:

A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Babe, would it kill you to meow back?

Spotted on Telegram:

Please hesitate to reach out.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Do we lazy people actually go to heaven? Or are we being picked up?

Funny bird bath quotes

Funny bird bath quotes bring a splash of humor to your backyard oasis 🐦💦! Whether you’re watching feathered friends splash around or just need a giggle, these witty sayings add charm and cheer to any bird bath setup 😄🌿. Get ready to chuckle and brighten your day with some lighthearted vibes that celebrate our quirky winged visitors! 🎉🐤✨

New funny bird bath quotes 👇

All funny bird bath quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Instagram this month:

Ladies, if you receive flowers with no card on them today, they’re from me.

82 shares on Facebook this month:

I try to shoot all of my garbage into outer space, but usually it just lands in my neighbor’s backyard.

69 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“Bluetooth or Insane?” is a fun game we all play when we see a lone person speaking out loud in public.

51 shares on Reddit this month:

There is a special place reserved in hell for website designers who disable cut and paste in password fields.

75 shares on YouTube this month:

All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply, thank you.

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

Normalize responding to work emails with: “What the hell are you talking about?”

54 shares on Telegram this month:

I feel like we’re all just angry and horny.

65 shares on Instagram this month:

My brain has too many tabs open and one of them is playing music I can’t find.

90 shares on Threads this month:

Dating is the process of meeting someone until you find out what’s wrong with them.

57 shares on Threads this month:

Bag of salad is the boxed wine of vegetables.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Good morning to everyone except people that talk to the cashier about their entire day.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite part about standing in line is watching the other lines move more quickly.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t, holding a grudge.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s okay, wobbly chair, I’m unstable too.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The gap in my resume? Yeah, it’s called playing outside.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate that I’m so indecisive. Actually, I don’t know if hate is the right word.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Haircuts should be covered by insurance.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I didn’t know that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I wasn’t on that job.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,577

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Men be like, “I want you.” Yeah, to suffer.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Does your blood pump that way just for me?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

When people suck the life out of you, they should take some fat too.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Really wanted to be a therapist until I read some of your guys’ posts and problems, and I want nothing to do with that mess.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Please, if you ever offer me a snack and I say no, ask me again, I didn’t mean it the first time.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Hearing my voice in recording makes me wanna apologize to every person I talked to.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Twitter is where the broken, the used, the fighters, and the lovers gather to appreciate the twisted beauty in one another.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

When I die, I hope I’m remembered for my ability to take any bad situation and make it worse.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Few things in life are as disappointing as having to poop right after a shower.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Social media can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Humans can accomplish so much, unless it’s parking at a shopping center during the holidays.

Going viral on TikTok:

Bugs have so many legs to make up for their lack of personality.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The problem with “treat yourself” is that I don’t know how to stop. I had a bad day in March, and I’ve been treating myself ever since.

Trending via Threads:

Family Guy is so insane because, why were people dating that dog?

Spotted on Facebook:

Karma not moving fast enough for me. I would hate to handle it myself, Lord.

Just landed via Reddit:

Considering that doctors are never on time, they should tell you to come a half hour late, not early.

Trending via Twitch:

If anyone wants a more cost effective energy provider, I can supply endless energy on tap from my absolutely not tired child at bedtime.

Spotted on WeChat:

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Reverse cowgirl so I can post selfies.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

You got a better chance getting chased by a dog than by me.

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