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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Elevator rides in real life: 30 seconds long. Elevator rides in movies: Two minutes long.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Strict parents raise good liars.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Establish dominance by maintaining eye contact whilst twerking.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

No dating apps this year. Just going to walk around and smile at people and send an occasional unhinged DM.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Technically, the Friday after July 4 isn’t a holiday. But I think we all know that Americans have a constitutional right to take the fifth.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today. I need the blood of my enemies.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Starting is the hardest part. Unless it’s eating chocolate. Then stopping is the hardest part.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

If “live each day as if it’s your last” means being paralyzed with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, then I am absolutely nailing it.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

You can reach me by butterfly.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

808 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,970

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,970

Updated

19 minutes ago

Users Online

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Snapchat:

Planking is the only time we appreciate time.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

One day you’re hip and cool, and then out of nowhere you say things like hip and cool.

Reported on Instagram:

I don’t drink alcohol. I like suffering raw.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Is everything expensive or am I just poor?

Going viral on YouTube:

You can’t argue with me because I’ll just agree with you until you leave.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Adding “but that’s just me” after giving the absolute worst advice to a coworker.

Trending via X:

My husband sure has a lot of opinions on which movie he’s gonna sleep through.

Going viral on Threads:

Once you turn 25 years and above, there is no need to set an alarm. Your problems will wake you up by force.

Making waves on Slack:

Welcome to your 40s. Your bra wins the Oscar for the best actor in a supportive role.

Just shared via Messenger:

I need a room full of mirrors, so I can be surrounded by losers.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

808 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,970

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,970

Updated

19 minutes ago

Users Online

3,422

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

If you want to make your mother proud, make her my mother-in-law.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

My favorite part of football is when they feed the players water like they’re hamsters.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

You don’t have to be crazy to hang out with me. I’ll train you.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

So annoying when your family knocks on the toilet door and asks what you’re doing. I’m baking a cake. HBU?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

I’m thinking stuff like “yeah” and also stuff like “yup.”

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

I let my cat smell every wine I drink so she can get a job as a sommelier and help pay my rent.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Cartoons make it look like getting stabbed in the butt with a pitchfork would be no big deal, but I beg to differ.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Who called it a period tracker instead of a madvent calendar?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

In contrast to the ship, the movie Titanic was quite well received in America.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

Shared recently on Slack:

The only thing I gained this year is weight.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Don’t tell me about Stockholm Syndrome, I woke up at 6 AM on my first day of vacation wondering how things were going at work.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I’m gonna start sending women unsolicited pizza pics.

Spotted on Messenger:

I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.

Just landed via Instagram:

People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely fulfilled the prophecy.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Don’t forget to make everything about you today.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm is the police.

Making waves on Slack:

Liking a post I don’t understand just to impress the algorithm.

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