Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Good morning everyone, who feels like working today? I promise I’ll let you do my job.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

I took a pole and found that 100% of people in the tent were angry.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Runners who smoke need to pick a side.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Gonna go walk the beach and stare annoyingly at couples. May even growl as I pass by.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Being single past 30 is like playing hide and seek, except no one is looking for you.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

I’m scared to go to an art museum, because what if they decide to keep me?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

You should be able to google why a couple broke up.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

90% of parenting is wondering when you can lie down again.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

I found my first grey pubic hair today, but I didn’t freak out; unlike everyone else in the Zoom meeting.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,627

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

If you collect the crumbs from one Nature Valley granola bar, you can make three more granola bars.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Just so you know, what you now call an energy bar is what my father gave the canary.

Spotted on X:

Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car.

Seen just now on X:

Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

Live now on Pinterest:

It’s not getting better or worse, but rather a third mysterious thing.

Trending via Reddit:

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

Making waves on Discord:

I love how women can go from obsessed to not interested at all when a man makes that one wrong move.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Marriage is like a phone call at the night: First there’s the ring, and then you wake up.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Too shy for influencing. Too dumb for crypto. Too honest for a scam. Too lazy for 9-5. How can I make money?

Making waves on X:

The most valuable breed of cow are the Cash.

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All funny blow-drying quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t remember if I was 43 or 44 before my birthday, so now I don’t know if I’m 44 or 45. That’s your 40’s.

97 shares on Instagram this month:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this family party started.

66 shares on Twitch this month:

The older I get, the more I love my morning coffee and no one speaking to me.

46 shares on WeChat this month:

Of course your crush is going to leave their spouse for you. That’s how delusions work.

11 shares on YouTube this month:

They should send the Epstein list to everyone’s phones like that U2 album.

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

Told my girlfriend that Mum is deaf, so speak loud and slow. Also told Mum that my girlfriend has special needs.

44 shares on WeChat this month:

I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.

54 shares on WeChat this month:

Sometimes I use big words I don’t always fully understand, in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.

93 shares on Snapchat this month:

Can everyone please turn their A/C off during the day, we need that power to generate images of people with eight fingers.

81 shares on Reddit this month:

Don’t listen to any thoughts about yourself if your hair isn’t washed. It’s just not true.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

How was the word “Wife” invented? They took the first two and last two letters of wildlife.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I told my daughter to check her attitude, and she responded, “For complaints about attitude, please contact the manufacturer.”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Since the beginning of time itself, people have been wondering, what the hell is going on?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

No wine. No peace. Know wine. Know peace.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever removed the 30th and 31st from February, come get the 14th too.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If by ‘leg day’ you mean a day that we put your legs on my shoulders, then yes, I love leg day.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Living with a dog is 90% following each other around, watching each other go potty, and wondering what the other has in their mouth.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My hobbies include sleeping and feeling like I’ve never slept.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,715

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Don’t bother telling me where you’re from, I have no geographical knowledge and no sense of direction.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

The good news is cannon deaths have gone down dramatically in the last hundred years.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

I’ve had 50 birthdays in a row without being arrested, which I’d say is an impressive streak!

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

My phone charger is lying in another room. HELP.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

I’m not drinking 2% milk until we figure out what the other 98% is.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

8 pm to 10 pm on a weeknight is the shortest that two hours can possibly be.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

All my bills say “Outstanding.” I guess I am good to go.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Instagram is just Twitter for people who go outside.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Me at a nightclub: Where are the chairs?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m just a girl standing in front of a cat who followed me to the bathroom.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Slack:

There’s protein in foods that have never been protein before.

Going viral on Threads:

I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.

Spotted on Twitch:

If you can’t tell which family member is coming up the stairs by the speed and weight of their footsteps, are you even family?

Spotted on Pinterest:

Right before rock bottom, you’ll have a city builder game on your phone.

Just shared via Reddit:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next thing you know, you’re staring out of a window for no reason.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Why is it called the Super Bowl if no one is bowling?

Spreading quickly via X:

Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.

Going viral on Telegram:

I still can’t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. I’ve got 8 of them now and don’t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I will never understand people who don’t gasp dramatically at rainbows.

Live now on Telegram:

Tried counting sheep, but now I’m emotionally invested in their backstories and I think one might need therapy.

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