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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

I can relate to America, because I too am about to enter a depression.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

That one British friend that’s too bloke.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like if I had a good haircut.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

I could easily win an Oscar, I just have other things going on right now.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Wow, pretty rude for people to exist who are younger and hotter than me, but OK.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Old people be like “no elbows on the table, it’s rude” then say something racist.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

People should be allowed to leave work early if they want to go see a movie.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

9am: anything is possible. 2pm: maybe tomorrow.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

775 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,937

Funny Quotes Topics

13,911

Funny Quotes Images

10,937

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

Dating now is basically choosing which red flag you’re willing to tolerate.

Going viral on Slack:

I pretend I don’t care about stuff, but that’s only because I have no idea what’s going on around me at any given time.

Spotted on YouTube:

I should get paid a lot more for being the boss of me.

Trending via Reddit:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you won’t let go of.

Seen just now on Slack:

Putting your wedding scrapbook in the little free library is an unprecedented level of divorced.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I was feeling kinda lonely this morning so I glued a coffee cup to the top of my car so people would wave at me.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Sorry, but if you’re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, you’re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if you’re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, I’m thinking enemy.

Spotted on Reddit:

If you wake up early enough, you can go back to sleep for a few hours. Not everyone knows this.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Fitness influencer: It’s important to listen to your body. Body: You’re old. And you want lasagna.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I hope the ghost of Michael Jackson Hee-Hee’s in your ear while you tryna sleep.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

775 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,937

Funny Quotes Topics

13,911

Funny Quotes Images

10,937

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,422

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

You can put refrigerator magnets on your car, too. There are no rules.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Hobosexual. A person who dates you with the sole interest of having a place to stay.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

There’s a disgusting pervert at the bar watching pornography over my shoulder.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

My kidnappers sent me back early with a full apology, some money, and several of their fingers.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

I took some free community martial arts lessons for self-defense, but I’m starting to think Tai Chi is too slow for most muggers.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Sorry, my face wasn’t created to hide that much distain for what you’re saying.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

I only went to medical school to figure out where your arms are supposed to go when you sleep and they didn’t even teach us that.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

The sun is so successful because it has the perfect bedtime and morning routines.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Roses are red, I’m staying in bed. I’ve made no plans, besides pretending I’m dead.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

Anyone know how to get an air guitar out of a vacuum?

Trending via Reddit:

There should be a Mad Max movie that reveals the world outside Australia has actually remained pretty normal.

Just landed via TikTok:

Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.

Breaking via Discord:

You ever wake up in the morning and your first thought is ‘I can’t wait to go to bed tonight’?

Broadcasted on Messenger:

My ex had this fetish where he would dress up in his own clothes and act like an idiot.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror.

Seen just now on Discord:

Fact: WhatsApp is the most boring app if you’re single.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

You ever feel awkward in Target, cause you know you belong at Walmart.

Trending via TikTok:

Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea.

Just shared via Slack:

Oh really? We’ll see what the same six people who always agree with me think about that.

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