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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Five out of six people find Russian Roulette to be a safe activity.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Nobody will know you’re stoned if you’re always stoned.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Some days you’re the shit and some days you’re the fan.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Cashier: Did you find everything? Me: Did you hide something?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Just bought 4 pounds of cherries like I’m in some math problem.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Meetings are great because who doesn’t like being held hostage?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Don’t worry, you’ll find the lost scissors when you’ll be searching for your glasses.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

I suck at flirting. I be like “is that so?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2393 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,555

Funny Quotes Topics

15,234

Funny Quotes Images

12,555

Updated

41 minutes ago

Users Online

3,450

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

“Likes your story” is a declaration of love.

Just landed via Telegram:

The sluttiest thing a man can do is have an ethical dilemma over his lust for you.

Breaking via X:

I’m so cold, I wish I could get in the dryer.

Breaking via YouTube:

Sunday night: Super Bowl party! Monday morning: Toilet Bowl party!

Just landed via WeChat:

Seven wives and no alcohol? No thanks, Mormons.

Just shared via Twitch:

The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life.

Freshly posted on X:

Rudolph, with your nose so bright, help me find my phone tonight.

Spotted on Facebook:

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I was sad, but then I ordered some new clothes. I’m okay now.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Self-checkout is amazing for introverts until the machine breaks and two employees have to come fix it while you wait.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2393 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,555

Funny Quotes Topics

15,234

Funny Quotes Images

12,555

Updated

41 minutes ago

Users Online

3,449

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Girls ask for help to open a jar, but can throw a couch during an argument.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Born to be a Jedi spinning a lightsaber, forced to work full-time and pay rent.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Me, aged 20: This is internship summer. I will get an internship. I will find a job. I will study. I will read. I will learn piano. I will… Me, nowadays: This summer, I’m going to try all of the ice cream flavors.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Not to brag, but I just walked upstairs and remembered why.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Welcome to your 50s. You used to be a lot taller.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

And to my grandchildren, I leave my unread PDFs.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Urgh. Trying to buy a copy of Catch-22 online but the seller won’t post it until I’ve paid and I won’t pay until I’ve received it.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

During winter, it’s either lazy starvation or eight thousand calories in one sitting.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

That awkward moment when you’re about to leave work and your boss says “before you go”.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

I’m heading to the beach without a beach body.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

Middle-aged math is going out drinking and feeling half your age then waking up the next morning feeling twice your age.

Making waves on Messenger:

I’ve realized about a third of my life is spent trying to ignore the fact that I have to pee.

Trending via Threads:

Apparently the term for migraine-sufferer is ‘migraneur.’ Nice getting recognition as a kind of artisan of suffering.

Just shared via X:

Just know that somebody out there is thinking of you, and you should really lock your doors.

Trending via Snapchat:

The real miracle is how Jesus managed to book a table for twenty-six people on the night before the Easter holiday, and then only half them showed up.

Trending via YouTube:

Where do cicadas go when they’re not screaming? I’d like to go there and scream.

Just landed via Facebook:

Booked an escape room but just to get away from everyone. No plans of escaping.

Breaking via WeChat:

The only way to my heart is with a knife.

Seen just now on Reddit:

There should be a withering shamrock emoji so that people can express misfortune or Irish grief.

Trending via Threads:

People who play golf don’t concern me nearly as much as the people who watch it.

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