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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

I don’t weigh myself because most scales don’t know how heavy all the grudges I’m holding onto are.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

If you see me online, I’m not chatting. I’m busy ignoring the world and laughing at memes like it’s therapy.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

You look like the kind of person whose recorded calls have been used for training purposes.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

The pizza delivery guys say “see you tomorrow” to everyone, right?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

I would be more patient if it didn’t take so long.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

One minute you’re young and fun and the next, you need a tow out of a beanbag chair.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

I’m just falling in love with my problems now. Maybe they’ll leave me too.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

“You’re a cougar!” God forbid a woman gives back to the youth.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

So grateful for pillows. My head works hard, it deserves its own bed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,962

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,962

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

Hey, are you an aurora borealis or why am I waiting in vain for you to appear?

Breaking via Facebook:

The only way to my heart is with a knife.

Spotted on Reddit:

Spongebob wouldn’t even mess with some of y’all. But he’d hang out with me because my heart is pure, and I like to laugh a lot.

Trending via Telegram:

Pinterest recipe so long that it’s now a limited series on Netflix.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The way time stretches between the moment you put your hands under the air dryer and the realization it is in fact a paper towel dispenser.

Reported on WeChat:

Google AI is awesome because it kills the planet and doesn’t work.

Going viral on Pinterest:

What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I know I seem a little crazy sometimes, but that’s because I AM.

Making waves on Messenger:

A big shout-out to all the beekeepers. Our unstung heroes.

Going viral on Threads:

Oh, sorry about bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to slam my head into the walls anymore.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,962

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,962

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

“I’ll just iron my clothes for work in the morning,” he thought in stupid bachelor.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Forever grateful that thought bubbles aren’t a real thing.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

I love my new crockpot. Now we can wait longer to eat my horrible cooking.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

I need an emergency cheeseburger.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

I’m opening a secret ice cream club called The Inside Scoop.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Keep posting, I’m diagnosing you.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Awake? You may be entitled to compensation.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Maybe we should put monkeys in charge for a while just to see how it goes.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

I’m starting to think that the secret to having a happy life is avoiding people.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

Want to lose weight for the summer? Don’t worry, just check in your luggage at the airport. You’ll never see those pounds again.

Trending via Reddit:

Only after moving in together do you realize your girlfriend’s little quirks. Mine, for example, stores vegetables in the beer compartment.

Live now on Discord:

Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

Trending via X:

The concept of a courtroom sketch artist is so funny to me. Here’s our little murder doodler.

Seen just now on Reddit:

The human body is amazing. One half-open eye and the brain under emergency power are enough to make coffee.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The good news is cannon deaths have gone down dramatically in the last hundred years.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I don’t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.

Going viral on Slack:

All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

Breaking via YouTube:

Wish I could step out of my body and take my own damn pictures.

Seen just now on X:

“Nothing beats in-person interaction”. Yeah, with someone I know and love, not Denise from finance.

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