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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

This summer I’m going cicada mode: emerging briefly from my house and being really loud until I find a mate.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

When is a robot gonna take over my job? Please?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

I know some people don’t like me, but what can I do, not everyone has good taste.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Adulthood is wild. One day I’m transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I’m transferring it out to save myself.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Once again I feel like I slept in a washing machine.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

My DMs are always open if you want to talk to yourself.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I hope this email makes you quit your job.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

I heard time is money, so I quit my job. Now I have lots of time!

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Ever notice how many towns are named after their water tower?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,308

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Not wearing glasses anymore, I’ve seen enough.

Going bananas on Telegram:

It’s always “you’re so cute when you’re mad,” until the house is on fire.

Spotted on Telegram:

The world is such a beautiful place when you don’t think too hard about it or look around.

Just landed via Discord:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you’re an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

The real advantage of being self-employed is that you don’t have to go to a Christmas party.

Going bananas on Slack:

Cynics are – beneath it all – only idealists with awkwardly high standards.

Live now on Threads:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $1 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst anniversary gifts ever.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

You can have glossy lips or you can have a cat. You can’t have both.

Just shared via Twitch:

We have decided to sell the house. How long do you think it will take for our landlord to find out?

Spreading quickly via X:

Imagine thinking you have any clue what’s going on.

Funny boyfriend mode quotes

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All funny boyfriend mode quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Slack this month:

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

97 shares on YouTube this month:

The Wi-Fi stops working for 2 minutes, and suddenly I start thinking about life.

43 shares on Reddit this month:

Hungry me has no respect for bathroom scale me.

36 shares on Threads this month:

Born to be a hater, forced to understand your perspective.

98 shares on Reddit this month:

Ladies, repeat after me: “I was wrong and I am sorry!”

94 shares on Twitch this month:

Ribbed condoms don’t even taste like ribs.

41 shares on Instagram this month:

When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

21 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m the guy at Apple who makes sure all your featured photos are your exes and your dog that died.

12 shares on Snapchat this month:

No one is shocked when a defibrillator doesn’t work.

85 shares on X this month:

The thief who stole my iPhone could face time.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I get writer’s block responding to people.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

That depressing moment when you start your car to go to work and it doesn’t explode.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Once you realize that no one really cares how you’re doing, it becomes much easier to answer the question.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope all of you get laid and not laid off this year. Amen.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Need a book club for people who all just happened to read the same book but hated it and now need to vent.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

There’ll be a time someone will convince you to watch Game of Thrones. It is very important that you listen to them and watch.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you think I’ll read a book again at some point or will I continue to dumb myself down with 12 hours of screen time?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

As a dad, you’re required to ask your neighbor “You gonna do mine next?” when you see them raking leaves.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t want to party like it’s 1999, I want to go grocery shopping like it is.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,634

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Why can’t they use deep fake technology for good instead of evil? Like taking Zoom meetings for you, stuff like that.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

The only way three people can keep a secret is if two of them are dead.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your senior years, where you get mad when they rearrange the grocery store.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Life is so dull when you don’t have someone to flirt with.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

You’ll be fighting for your life financially and that’s when all your toiletries finish at the same time.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

All the observable evidence suggests that, if I was much worse at my job, I’d be more likely to get a promotion to senior management.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

All arguments are solvable. The trick? Get naked.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

One of the most disappointing things is when you get a severe thunderstorm warning, and there is no severe thunderstorm.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

I found my first grey pubic hair today, but I didn’t freak out; unlike everyone else in the Zoom meeting.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

That awkward moment when everything is going so perfectly… and then you wake up.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, Eat cake.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I run every day for 30 minutes. If I miss a day, I add 30 minutes to the next day. This has truly been a game changer. Tomorrow I’m supposed to run for 3 weeks.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Airlines be like: “Oh, wow. Oh, God. We didn’t think everyone would bring a bag!”

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I’m okay with being single. But at night, while I’m drunk, that’s too much.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I love all mythical creatures. Vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen.

Just landed via Snapchat:

How come all the single people don’t need no one, and all the married ones need two?

Just shared via Reddit:

I’m so introverted, I only listen to house music.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Who is praying on my downfall right now and can you stop?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

If it hurts you more than it hurts them, you are holding the taser wrong.

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