Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Who called it an undertaker and not a host mortem?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

There’s no way you could go all the way through the desert on a horse with no name, you’d have named it by the end.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Tweeting with no audience feels like screaming jokes into a cornfield.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

You don’t have to be crazy to hang out with me. I’ll train you.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

No president next term. America needs to be single for a while to focus on herself.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Thrifting must be so awesome for big guys and extremely small women.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

I’ve never really had a beach body, but my snowman body is coming along quite nicely.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Traumatized people will navigate emergency situations with calm surety but then have an anxiety attack in a grocery store.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

I wish I was as tired in bed at night as I am after lunch at work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,356

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Hug your children as often as you can. They can’t break things during this time.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Not everyone realizes this, but if you clean the pile of receipts out of a purse and stack them together, it makes a teeny tiny book about why you’re broke.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always known I wanted to be a woman with a lot of money when I grew up.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I watch “Law and Order” so much that when I turn off the TV, I wipe my fingerprints off the remote.

Making waves on Threads:

Alexa, take responsibility for my actions.

Live now on Twitch:

If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

Live now on Pinterest:

I need to have a ginger ale about this.

Going viral on YouTube:

My two moods are eating a breakfast sandwich or wishing I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Going viral on TikTok:

I’m developing a new fragrance for introverts. It’s called: “Leave me the fuh cologne”.

Funny bush quotes

Funny bush quotes 🌿🌳 are the perfect way to add a little laughter to your day while celebrating nature’s wild side! Whether you’re a gardening guru or just love quirky wordplay, these witty sayings will have you chuckling and appreciating the beauty (and sometimes the chaos) of the great outdoors. Get ready to leaf your worries behind and enjoy some playful vibes! 😂🌱✨

New funny bush quotes 👇

All funny bush quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on WeChat this month:

Almost all of my bad decisions are food-related.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

Them: Money doesn’t bring happiness. Me: Pass the money over here, I like to be sad.

62 shares on X this month:

Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

62 shares on WeChat this month:

A perfect metaphor for my life would be “Someone trying to stand up in a hammock.”

14 shares on Pinterest this month:

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

80s movies: Let’s go to the future! Today: Let’s go back to the 80s!

40 shares on Facebook this month:

Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

All I’m saying is that big burgers should be wider not taller.

65 shares on Slack this month:

If a government has online beef with a pop star, it has already lost.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Driving is great because it combines my love of sitting with my love of being mad.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

A person’s character can be read quite reliably from the way he or she interacts with service personnel.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Apparently I’m the reason why I never have any money. I am shocked!

23 folks are currently checking 👀

People that ask Grok “Is this true” are the reason our society is getting dumber by the minute.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not fat. I just eat in advance.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Tired of looking at a bad screen. Can’t wait to get home and look at a good screen.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s like my therapist always says, that’ll be $175.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m implementing a new policy in my house: any child who is awake past bedtime can either go to sleep or clean the house, no exceptions.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,714

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

It’s actually quite simple: I don’t want to eat less, I just want to weigh less.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Welcome to your 50’s. Your doctor and pharmacist are both in your contacts now.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Am I the only person who would rather almost fall over carrying the shopping than walk a second time?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Oxygen was discovered in 1773. How did our ancestors breathe before then?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

I don’t hate anyone in particular, I just hate everyone in general.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

I never finish what I start. I have a black belt in partial arts.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

I want the dreams to chase me for once.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Deleted old Tweets just in case I date a very famous woman with rabid fans.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

In the 80s, if you woke up feeling thirsty, you could drink some of your waterbed.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Took my car to the mechanic because it was making a terrible noise. He removed the Mariah Carey Christmas CD, and now it’s fine.

Just landed via Twitch:

Nothing is complicated when you’re simple-minded like me.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

We interrupt coverage of one horrible story for breaking news of another horrible story.

Making waves on Twitch:

You’ve agreed to go out with me, so that’s going to immediately count against you.

Making waves on X:

November doesn’t have afternoons. It’s just morning until 2 p.m., then night.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I have a brain that wants to be alone, and a heart that wants to be loved.

Going viral on TikTok:

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Explain it to me like I’m five then do it for me like I’m one hundred.

Trending via Messenger:

Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience?

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