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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

I need a leaf blower, but for people.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

The same mosquito kept biting me last night. It probably thought it was at a wine tasting.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Not today, Satan, but next week works.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

There is a giant spider on my dash so I’m going to have to buy a new car now.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Americans be like, “MM:DD:YY” is how you say dates verbally, and then have a national holiday called “4th of July.”

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

When I get tired of shopping, I sit down and try on shoes.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

In hell, you wait for a ‘verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

Updated

28 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

I called the cops on my own party once because I was ready to go to bed.

Spotted on WeChat:

My morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired I am.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Cafeteria is a beautiful name for a baby girl.

Spotted on Twitch:

I pretend I don’t care about stuff, but that’s only because I have no idea what’s going on around me at any given time.

Live now on Messenger:

Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

Shared recently on Slack:

Don’t worry. Artificial intelligence will never replace actual ignorance.

Shared recently on Slack:

In other news, congrats to my therapist for securing a 4 year contract with me.

Seen just now on Threads:

Films and television have led me to believe that masquerade balls have a higher mortality rate than most wars.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I think the bowl of ice cream I ate earlier gave me a stomach ache, so I ate a another bowl to make sure.

Going viral on Discord:

Whoever named the meatball absolutely nailed it.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

Updated

28 minutes ago

Users Online

3,448

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Accidentally became important at work and it’s ruining my life.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

My immune system told me it’s a lover not a fighter.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Sometimes I don’t worry about things at all and other times I am awake.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

For a long time, I didn’t know what to do with my strange thoughts. Then I signed up for Facebook.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

I can’t believe the gall of this bladder.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

I just want everyone to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

The older I get, the more I understand why deer run in front of cars.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Writers should get a direct line to the FBI so we can call them and give them a heads up when we’re googling ways to poison someone but just for a story.

Live now on Twitch:

Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

Going viral on Pinterest:

My mom asked me to hand out invitations for my brother’s surprise birthday party, and that’s when I realized he was the favorite twin.

Trending via WeChat:

I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

You should get a pension for having to go to school for so many years.

Going viral on Instagram:

Be the reason why your local woods are haunted.

Trending via YouTube:

They invented the word metallic, because irony was already taken.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Nephew showed me his toys on FaceTime, and I had no toys to show him back. Humiliating.

Breaking via Facebook:

If the line at the grocery store takes longer than 10 minutes, the candy beside the checkout should be free.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I have one of those metal briefcases handcuffed to my wrist, and inside… my grandmother’s meatloaf recipe.

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