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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

I think you would all treat me a lot better if I possessed a small amount of plutonium.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Three wise men? I highly doubt that.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

This morning, like every morning, he practiced his quick draw of his finger guns in the bathroom mirror, because you just never know.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Music just makes living on this earth a little bit more bearable.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

If you push your belly button and nose at the same time, your brain takes a screenshot.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Some days you just feel like a hotel microwave. You’re here, but you don’t have enough power to actually do anything.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Remember, when a package says “sharing size”, that’s just a guideline. They have no enforcement mechanism.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Me drinking green tea: this is going to fix everything.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

*Pointing at a mothers shrieking baby* Is this guy bothering you?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,717

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Thinking the bodega owner likes you is exactly the same as thinking the stripper likes you.

Going viral on YouTube:

“That’s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.

Just landed via Twitch:

Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

Just landed via X:

70% of marriage is yelling “What” from a different room.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the terms and conditions I do not read.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Every time a bird poops on my car, I eat a plate of wings on the front porch to show them what I’m capable of.

Live now on Snapchat:

Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

Shared recently on YouTube:

The peace of not knowing.

Breaking via TikTok:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Why do people always assume it’s a compliment when I tell them their baby looks just like them?

Funny cautionary quotes

Funny cautionary quotes bring a hilarious twist to life’s little warnings ⚠️😂 They remind us to stay alert while keeping the mood light and entertaining 😜 Whether you’re dodging everyday mishaps or just need a chuckle, these witty nuggets serve up laughs with a side of wisdom 🤪✨ Get ready to smile and learn the fun way!

New funny cautionary quotes 👇

All funny cautionary quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on Discord this month:

Sucking melted cheese off the burger wrapper as God intended.

59 shares on Reddit this month:

ChatGPT’s primary use is to generate plausible excuses to leave dinner at the in-laws’.

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Always be kind. You never know who has a pool.

46 shares on Slack this month:

Thinking of starting a club for people who don’t like to leave their house. There are no meetings.

47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Not to brag, but no one has ever accused me of trying too hard.

51 shares on Threads this month:

I like to think of myself as an onion. Peel back the many layers and deep down inside you’ll find a smaller, more anxious onion.

45 shares on Slack this month:

Twitter hits different, cause it’s like the only social media app you can use effectively while playing music.

74 shares on Telegram this month:

My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

86 shares on Facebook this month:

Does anyone know if there’s a career in being a piece of shit?

92 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Accept the truth that a clean kitchen and finished laundry are just myths. Embrace the chaos and find your inner calm.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Parents saying “I know my child” will forever be the funniest joke.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Always remember you’re someone’s reason to smile. Because you’re a joke.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

You never know how strong you are until someone’s story runs more than 5 minutes long.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Coffee is just goth water.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is that don’t do that.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Is it socially acceptable to wear pajamas all day if you’re constantly holding a coffee cup?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Statistically speaking, on average, a person has two arms, two legs, one testicle, and one ovary.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing that has grown faster than rents in recent years is the overtime we have to work to pay them.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You were there at the beginning of the Internet if you’ve heard the following: “Get off the web, I need to make a call!”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,385

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

I am so tired ever my tiredness is tired.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

The moment when I drop my phone, but my fast reflexes slam it into a bloody wall.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Foo fighters still fighting foo.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

You’re either snacking with me or snacking against me.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

“Alcohol and beautiful women” is apparently not an appropriate answer when you are asked about your weaknesses in a job interview.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

A Twitter swear jar could end world hunger.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

I wonder how many different vegetables they exploded before they discovered popcorn.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

When I eat rotisserie chicken, I like to pretend that I’m performing an autopsy.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

That uncle who kept his distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense to you as you get older.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

I’m so smart, I got rid of cable and now I only have $638 in monthly streaming services.

Live now on Twitch:

I’m so old, I still drink my coffee at home in the morning. From a real cup.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I actually think it’s quite beautiful that you have to be the one to save yourself.

Spotted on X:

The cheapest way to fly is off the handle.

Making waves on TikTok:

The opposite of “taking candy from a baby” is “putting sunscreen on a toddler.”

Going viral on WeChat:

The easiest way to shop with kids is not to.

Live now on Threads:

Normalize responding to work emails with: “What the hell are you talking about?”

Spotted on YouTube:

Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Siblings are proof you can love someone and also dislike them at the same time.

Spreading quickly via X:

I wanna meet the person whose parents are super disappointed he went to medical school instead of becoming a stand-up comedian.

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