Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

I’m broke in Monopoly, and my husband just asked if I want to earn $100.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Some of you need to be visited by the ghost of ‘Quit emailing me so much before Christmas.’

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Therapy is nice but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

I mean, sex is all right, but have you ever experienced the sheer sensuality of having rock-solid proof that a problem at work was someone else’s fault, even though it really, really looked like it was yours?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Imagine not sleeping with plushies. You guys are gonna get eaten by monsters.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m that person who will restart a song because I got distracted and wasn’t appreciating it enough.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

I was going to buy my wife a car for Christmas but then I remembered I don’t live in a commercial.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Don’t worry, I’m only dead inside from the waist up.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,641

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Discord:

Your twenties are for working towards a life you later won’t want.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I get you, bowel syndrome. I’m irritable, too.

Just landed via Discord:

Sawing a hole in a table from underneath to steal a cake is a lot harder than cartoons would have you believe.

Seen just now on Slack:

Laxatives help you live up to your full pooptential.

Live now on Telegram:

Coughing has finally overtaken speaking Arabic as the most taboo thing to do in an airport.

Breaking via X:

Love it when you say or do some common sense thing and the other person has “file not found” written all over their face.

Just shared via Threads:

Life is really sucking the life out of me.

Spotted on Instagram:

Life is short, unless you’re listening to a kid describing an episode of PAW Patrol.

Just shared via Reddit:

Your DM doesn’t match the Bible quote in your bio. Uh-oh.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’m pretending to be a hot girl on Tinder so I can match with my roommate and tell him I’m coming over, so he’ll clean the apartment.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Some days I feel I’m on top of the world, and other days it feels like the world is on top of me.

65 shares on Snapchat this month:

Hyphenated. Non-hyphenated. The irony.

66 shares on Twitch this month:

Unsolicited sandwich pics.

98 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I smile at all animals, just not the human ones.

17 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m “I can’t sit like that for too long” years old.

70 shares on Instagram this month:

When you’re late for work, you gotta walk in fast and act like you’re mad.

79 shares on Slack this month:

Light is faster than sound. That’s why people seem so bright until you hear them talk.

74 shares on Facebook this month:

It sucks that crazy people ruined wearing tinfoil hats for those of us that just did it for fashion purposes.

71 shares on Discord this month:

I pray this boy wins in life. I wanna see him on top of me.

38 shares on Facebook this month:

Every morning I announce that Im going for a jog, but then I don’t go. It’s a running gag.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Yes, I’m full of microplastics, but it’s actually been helpful. It’s given me superpowers. I can communicate with Tupperware.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Found a picture of me sitting on Santa’s lap. Hard to believe it’s been a whole year.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

What’s really missing is a day between Saturday and Sunday.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Back to work after the long holiday weekend, so you’re finally away from the relatives you don’t like, and back with the co-workers you don’t like.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My five-year plan is to just see what happens.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I liked your post one second after you posted it but in my defense, I’ve had my phone in my hand since 2012.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer to the end you get, the faster it goes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,698

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

It’s almost time to put winter tires on the struggle bus.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Finally got around to emptying the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something started its independence movement in there.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Spider-Man, but set in rural England so he just has to walk everywhere.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

One of my biggest fears during a zombie apocalypse is having to sleep without a fan.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

If “live each day as if it’s your last” means being paralyzed with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, then I am absolutely nailing it.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

You know you’re getting old when you and the grocery store have the same playlist.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

My attempts to purge my possessions always seem to result in me rediscovering that I have lots of nice things, after which I lie happily on my hoard like a dragon.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing beside you right now and you’d have no idea.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

We should all go into advertising and fix what’s going on with commercials. They need our help.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Baby for sale. Refuses to wear shoes.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

My gf doesn’t really like it when I talk about my ex, which means I now have a lot of stories from college where I’m just alone for some reason.

Making waves on Discord:

God: “I genuinely don’t remember making you all this stupid.”

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Nothing humbles me faster than my phone camera accidentally turning on.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

That awkward moment when someone keeps watching you while you are eating.

Trending via TikTok:

One day you’ll find someone obsessed with you. It’s probably going to be a squirrel.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Gonna go walk the beach and stare annoyingly at couples. May even growl as I pass by.

Shared recently on Slack:

My friends wife threatened to leave him over his Star Wars collectibles and I was like “divorce is strong in this one”.

Breaking via Twitch:

I’m not climbing a hill if I’m dying. That sounds terrible. I’ll die on this chair. Drinking orange Fanta.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Next time you think I am flirting with you, ask yourself if kindness is so rare in your life that you mistake it for desire.

Going viral on Twitch:

Gardeners are the only people who willingly go outside to get dirty, sweaty, bitten, and sunburned… and call it “relaxing”.

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