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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

I don’t weigh myself because most scales don’t know how heavy all the grudges I’m holding onto are.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Yogurts should come in a five-pack, not a four-pack, or make the workweek four days.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

“I thought it might be nice to go round the room and say a bit about ourselves.” Oh dear, you thought wrong.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Buying a new phone isn’t even satisfying anymore. It’s literally just your old phone with a haircut.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Don’t worry, bro. She’s probably just working on a puzzle right now. She’ll get back to you.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

I get it, drug commercials. I too like to dance while I describe all my side effects.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

ASAP (as sapphic as possible).

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Just had a crazy revelation: you can eat in the airport after your flight, too.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

If biscuits were slimming and contained every nutrient the human body needs, I’d be in terrific shape.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Going to work has backfired on me so many times.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,734

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.

Just landed via YouTube:

I’m not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

Going viral on YouTube:

The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.

Making waves on YouTube:

One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.

Seen just now on Discord:

Asking my dentist a question, but sticking my fingers in his mouth before he replies.

Live now on Discord:

I’ve decided to become an organ donor. When I die, I want an elephant to get a new trunk.

Going viral on Reddit:

Is the elephant in the room with us right now?

Seen just now on Messenger:

Commenting “Obviously AI” on pictures of happy couples.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Eat like your treadmill is watching.

Funny collective noun quotes

New funny collective noun quotes 👇

The collective noun for a group of narcissists should be an ‘egosystem’.

3 weeks ago

collective, collective noun, egosystem, group, humor, joke, narcissist, noun, personality, wordplay

All funny collective noun quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on TikTok this month:

Some people stay longer in a toilet than in a relationship.

72 shares on Twitch this month:

Them: I haven’t seen you in a long time. Me: You’re welcome.

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I think every app should, by law, let you deactivate all of its short-form video content.

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

If they played poker with potato chips, I’d have a gambling problem.

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

My husband is the do-it-yourself type. I asked him to take out the garbage and he said, “do it yourself.”

41 shares on YouTube this month:

I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow.

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

What did people do before eyeglasses, like half the world just walked around not being able to see?

88 shares on YouTube this month:

I am awake. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

55 shares on Pinterest this month:

Can I sell my feelings on ebay, I don’t want them anymore.

19 shares on Reddit this month:

I love being an adult and sitting absolutely still and suddenly I’ve hurt my neck somehow.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Some hoodies don’t hoodie the way other hoodies hoodie.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

If you gain 4 pounds in one weekend, that just means you’re an overachiever.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Single, not sure how to mingle.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

If I ever become a ghost, I’m gonna go back and haunt college me. Tell him to hydrate.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

My kids and I have this bit where I say something and they ignore me.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Can we get some A.I. to pick plastic out of the ocean, or do all the robots need to be poets?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

I came, I saw, I took a selfie as proof that I came and saw.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

The invention of locks was a key turning point in history.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

The perfect job for me would be the person staining things for detergent commercials.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

I don’t like talking to people with an IQ lower than the room temperature.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

This summer went by so fast, I didn’t even get a chance to lose any weight.

Going viral on Slack:

Even if you like anime, you gotta still wear deodorant, man.

Making waves on Threads:

I know how to use an abacus as a tambourine.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Notice how you don’t catch me in public, it’s because i’m not real.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I think one of my biggest hangups in getting better at Spanish is that speaking with the correct accent makes me feel racist.

Just shared via Discord:

Being gracefully insane is the only way to survive life’s daily bullshit.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Wolves are just dogs that nobody has called a “good boy” yet.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

“Apple Music has better sound quality!” Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

My search history is filled with me googling regular words just to make sure I’m using them right.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Are French bulldogs actually French? They seem kinda Puerto Rican.

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Funny collective noun quotes

New funny collective noun quotes 👇

The collective noun for a group of narcissists should be an ‘egosystem’.

All funny collective noun quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨