Commentary:
If people could hear my thoughts, I'd need a full-time PR manager 😂🤫 #MindChaos
13 Funny lucky quotes
Gang members are so lucky to have something to do with their hands in photos.
Commentary:
When you don't know what to do with your hands in photos, join a gang, or just hold a taco! 🌮🤘😎
I am so lucky that I can’t tell the difference between a heartfelt compliment and sarcastic disdain. Life is much easier when you’re dumb.
Commentary:
Living blissfully in my own bubble of confusion since forever 😂🤷♂️✨
If you say “awesome sauce” on a first date, you’ll still have that lucky condom in your wallet tomorrow.
Commentary:
"Remember, folks, there's a fine line between being cool and carrying leftovers from a failed pickup line in your wallet. 🌶️😏 #DateNightDisasters"
At my age, “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what you came in there for.
Commentary:
"Oh, the joys of aging! 🤣🚶♂️ It's a real victory to walk into a room and actually accomplish the mission instead of wandering aimlessly. Who needs luck when you've got a good memory, right? 👴🏼🔑"
Lucky for me, I don’t have enough friends for an intervention.
Commentary:
"Who needs interventions when you have a small circle of friends who are just as dysfunctional as you? 🤷♂️ Quality over quantity, am I right? 😂 #NoInterventionNeeded"
People always tell me I’d be “late to my own funeral” like it’s a bad thing. They’d be lucky if I even showed up to that depressing shit.
Commentary:
"Late to my own funeral? Please, I'd probably stop for coffee on the way! ☕️😂 Who needs to show up to a party they can't enjoy? 🎉💀 #FashionablyLateForever"
I’m one of those lucky people that can eat whatever they want and not put on any clothes.
Commentary:
"Oh, to have the metabolism of a superhero and the appetite of a bottomless pit! 🦸♂️🍔 Maybe if I ate while wearing clothes, they would gain some weight for me? 🤔👗 #FoodieGoals"
Hit my coworker with “you’re a lucky man” after I saw a picture of his wife just to let him know that I want to sleep with her.
Commentary:
Hmm, I hope your coworker didn't take that comment as a job application! 🙈 Remember, it's all fun and games until HR gets involved! 😂 #OfficeShenanigans
This bouncer’s lucky I’m with my lady and physically frightened of him or he’d be in a world of pain.
Commentary:
"Looks like this bouncer is about to learn that love not only conquers all, but also protects you from getting your butt kicked! 💪🚨 Better watch out, Mr. Bouncer, this fearless duo is not to be messed with! 😜👊 #CoupleGoals"