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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

My life started becoming a mess when I was put in charge of my own bedtime.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

There’s no one I respect more than duck hunters. You spent $15,000 on a camouflage boat to outsmart a duck.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Please don’t celebrate April Fool’s day if you’re not a fool. My culture is not your costume.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Turns out that ending meetings with “have the day you deserve” has made me some enemies at work.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

All my life choices led me to this post right here, and if that’s not an indictment of free will, I don’t know what is.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

People should be allowed to leave work early if they want to go see a movie.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

I had bad luck with women twice. The first left me, the second stayed.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I’m a kid at heart and a senior citizen at my knees and back.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

At my size, I’d be called Buffet the Vampire Slayer.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1899 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,061

Funny Quotes Topics

14,844

Funny Quotes Images

12,061

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,428

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers ‘my pharmily’.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

They should let me go inside everyones house just to see.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Just worked out for 2 hours straight and 1 hour gay.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Adulthood is about being able to eat cookies for breakfast, but not doing it because you already ate all the cookies.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Lost my Thesaurus. Gutted. Really gutted. Like absolutely gutted.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Who would have thought that eating a can of beans would backfire like this?

Going viral on Threads:

The difference between a hippo and a zippo is that one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. Thank you and good night.

Trending via Threads:

Not many quicksand-related deaths since the 1970s. Thank God the authorities got that nightmare under control.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1899 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,061

Funny Quotes Topics

14,844

Funny Quotes Images

12,061

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,450

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Wife asked if I could stop singing Wonderwall. I said maybe…

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Don’t ask me for work advice, I’m just going to tell you to quit your job.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

You get what you pay for. Unless the delivery man leaves it on your doorstep. Then the fastest person on your street gets what you paid for.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Bison may look friend-shaped, but they already have all the friends they want. Keep your distance and don’t make it awkward.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

My parents often told me I would lose my own head if it wasn’t screwed on and now that I’m an adult, I want to know what tools I need to have it screwed off.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

When I tell my kids I’ll do something in a minute, what I’m really saying is “Please forget.”

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Today’s politics make me think we’re living in a movie where the villains actually win.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

The only time you should be faking it is when your pet checks to see if you’re awake.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Silence is golden. But duct tape is silver.

Going viral on WeChat:

Men will ruin your whole life then come back and like your story.

Going viral on Reddit:

I think humans are meant to lay in bed with the love of their life all winter.

Spotted on Instagram:

The best way to reach me is with intelligence and humor.

Seen just now on Slack:

If your problem can’t be fixed by coffee, tequila or sex then I’m out of advice.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Love is in the air fryer.

Making waves on WeChat:

I may have bags under my eyes, but they’re Versace.

Live now on Slack:

Recovering people pleasers will be like, “I’m in my villain era!” and it’s just politely drawing healthy boundaries.

Live now on Reddit:

Instead of hairstyles and make-up, there should be YouTube tutorials on polite behavior.

Just shared via Instagram:

Gonna end every insult with “but in a good way”.

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