Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Being smart is a curse. You see the game, the lies, the patterns, but you still gotta play dumb to survive.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Hey (with the intention of going to sleep).

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

I wish it were social acceptable to say “I don’t care” and walk away mid conversation when you’re bored.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

You’re all using your crystals wrong. Put them in a sock and start swinging.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

King-sized beds: Because you both want to sleep on the same mattress, but not in the same zip code.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

I just shaved my legs and man, the next 7 minutes and 34 seconds before it starts growing back is gonna feel amazing.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Nobody is meaner to me than me. So take your shot.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

This coffee is not coffeeing the way I need it to be coffeeing.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

“Comparison is the thief of joy!” Well, not if you’re better than everyone else.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Be useless, so nobody can use you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,591

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

Finally figured out why I look so bad in pictures – it’s my face.

Making waves on TikTok:

Sitting next to you on an empty train and clicking my stopwatch every time you turn a page in your book.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

That moment when you realize “yeah, this person is never gonna hear from me again” is so crazy.

Just landed via Instagram:

Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”

Just landed via LinkedIn:

My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

You don’t need fun to have alcohol.

Trending via Reddit:

Let the kids believe in Santa. I believed the Undertaker and Kane were brothers.

Spotted on Messenger:

People believe that they have brains but maybe that’s just inside their heads.

Trending via Reddit:

They should invent a food that sounds good for dinner tonight.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

When you accidentally laugh at your own thoughts, and now people are staring.

Funny courier quotes

New funny courier quotes 👇

People who sound like fonts: Ariana Grande. Roman Roy. Jim Courier. Lydia West. Bon Iver. Suella Braverman. Jesse Ventura.

3 weeks ago

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All funny courier quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Facebook this month:

As a sales clerk, you want to shout after some people as they leave the store: “Are you sure you’ve really REALLY touched everything?”

13 shares on Reddit this month:

Where do I sign up to be one of those influencers with 2M followers whose whole thing is just standing in front of other people’s content and nodding?

19 shares on TikTok this month:

Great minds think alike. Unfortunately, so do stupid ones.

21 shares on Instagram this month:

How did they get kids to pose for oil paintings? Mine won’t sit still for 4 seconds for a family photo.

77 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Work from home is all fun and games until you lose grip on reality.

62 shares on Reddit this month:

When your kid asks you where the other parent is, they’re really saying that they’d like to speak with the manager.

91 shares on Instagram this month:

“She’s so self-centered”—who’s supposed to be the center of my life? You?

41 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m capable of doing a lot of things but listening to people chew their food is not one of them.

87 shares on X this month:

If I have to look at any more spreadsheets today, you’re gonna have to spread my ashes.

59 shares on Slack this month:

I’m not a fan of camping, if I wanted to sleep outside I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Sticking googly eyes on a potato and introducing him to everyone as my new boyfriend.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

When someone asks me what my dream job is, it’s just like “I don’t know dude, I don’t dream about jobs”

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

That “meeting canceled” ping is a gift from the Gods.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Meeting Beyoncé and telling her I loved her in Goldmember and mentioning nothing about her music career, just to see if it throws her off.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

We should be able to call in healthy: “I feel amazing today, and I’m not wasting it at work.”

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

I need a vaccine against overthinking.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Sorry, I missed your call. I watched it ring and everything.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

I’ve reached the age where people talk loudly and slowly to me.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

App idea: couples upload their arguments. The internet votes on who was right.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Laptops become possessed with slowness when they see that you are in a hurry.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on LinkedIn:

Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past 2 years.

Making waves on Facebook:

I miss whatever age I was when I thought five dollars was a lot of money.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Feeling morally and spiritually adrift without a Sunday HBO show.

Just shared via YouTube:

Knowing I’ve been called crazy, but never ugly, is how I sleep at night.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do.

Just landed via Twitch:

I miss when you could touch a TV and feel its fur.

Spotted on Twitch:

Sometimes, I feel like my brain is still running on Windows 95.

Shared recently on Reddit:

(Talking to myself) I just don’t know what to tell you.

Breaking via Facebook:

Please respond to my telepathic messages.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny courier quotes

New funny courier quotes 👇

People who sound like fonts: Ariana Grande. Roman Roy. Jim Courier. Lydia West. Bon Iver. Suella Braverman. Jesse Ventura.

All funny courier quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨