Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Abandoned amusement parks are so creepy. It’s no wonder they were abandoned.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

You better be kissing the screen when I send pics.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

If you lift the cat off the couch and it sounds like Velcro, then it didn’t want to leave.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

How dare this person in traffic hold me up for seconds on the way to a place that doesn’t require my immediate presence?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Terrifying if true: Her eyes lighting up a room.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

My therapist is fluffy and walks on four paws.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

My attempts to purge my possessions always seem to result in me rediscovering that I have lots of nice things, after which I lie happily on my hoard like a dragon.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

They say an apple a day keeps a doctor away. But what do I need to eat to keep everyone away?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

My new pajamas have no pockets. I don’t want to hear your problems.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,500

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on LinkedIn:

Sex is like tacos. I wish I were having some now.

Just landed via Messenger:

Waving at the end of every Zoom call like it’s the 1800s and a big steamship is leaving the harbor.

Just landed via Twitch:

My talents include sneaking out of work early on a Friday.

Shared recently on X:

Turtles made out of plastic, problem solved.

Just shared via Facebook:

The more attention you get on this website, the less you enjoy being on it.

Making waves on YouTube:

I always tell my kids that it’s okay to make mistakes just as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Everyone has these three colleagues: The one who is always cold. The one who is always hungry. The one who is always tired. I am everything in one.

Trending via Facebook:

If you think I’m funny, you should hear the voices in my head.

Shared recently on Facebook:

She got me to fall for her, like a boomer seeing an AI image on Facebook.

Just shared via TikTok:

Everything feels like thinking the stripper actually likes you.

Funny crochet quotes

New funny crochet quotes 👇

All funny crochet quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Instagram this month:

Maybe the four horsemen of the apocalypse are Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok.

80 shares on Slack this month:

The show “How I Met Your Mother” was just a really long TED talk.

77 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Good morning to everyone except my baby, who already said good morning to me at 1 a.m., 3 a.m., and 5:46 a.m.

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m not saying Lois Lane is a bad investigative journalist, but my friend Greg didn’t wear glasses to work yesterday and I recognized him by lunch time.

40 shares on Threads this month:

Anyone else’s phone make a retching noise when you unlock it with Face ID?

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

Showering & getting in bed is literally one of the best combos ever.

70 shares on Threads this month:

My phone is on Do Not Disturb because I am disturbed enough as it is.

19 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s okay if you don’t like me, not everyone has good taste.

79 shares on Threads this month:

You can eat cheesecake for breakfast if you want to. No one can stop you. The police can’t even stop you.

68 shares on Instagram this month:

My teen would like you to know I ruined her life when I did her laundry today.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Elections is like waiting for the results of a biopsy, except half your family hopes it’s cancer.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop bothering me, or I will inform you of a behavioral pattern that is noticeable to other people, but I can tell you are not yet aware of.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Jury duty is a wild concept. Whenever the government wants, they can just be like “Call off work, bestie, we need you to solve a murder. Here’s fifteen dollars.”

22 folks are currently checking 👀

“I have a favourite hole”, me, at the pool table.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My back and I are definitely not the same age.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Starting to think I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Tried a smile yesterday and my white blood cells attacked it.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Bring me a higher love. You have 24 hours. No cops.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I left you on read, I didn’t mean to open it just yet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,435

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Perks of dating me: you will be the hot one.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Jehovah’s Witnesses tell the worst knock knock jokes.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

You don’t have to write every day to be a writer! You just have to feel guilty every day that you don’t.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

The sexual tension between me and not finishing the last 2 episodes of a drama.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

A lot of childhood characters weren’t so much beloved as there wasn’t anything else on the TV.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

I don’t fight my demons anymore. We collaborate.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

TikTok? I still call it a watch.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

I love when people start getting filler, and instead of looking younger, it’s just like okay, your face is getting really, really big in all directions.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

The worst part about going to work is the part where you have to go to work.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

“Yeah no” is my favorite combo.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

Please be delicate with me, I’m built like a Nature Valley bar.

Making waves on YouTube:

Yes, I am super annoying, but don’t worry, it’s just permanent.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Just so you know, what you now call an energy bar is what my father gave the canary.

Breaking via Twitch:

I could have done without braces back then. What’s the point of having perfect teeth if I have no reason to smile?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Bitcoin is just Kohl’s Cash for boys.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

It’s okay to embarrass yourself a little in the pursuit of human connection.

Shared recently on X:

What wine pairs well with the kids being stuck inside during a heat wave?

Just shared via Messenger:

Thoughts more intrusive than a 90s sitcom neighbor.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Horror movies should add bloopers, so after watching the main film, you’ll be able to sleep.

Making waves on X:

My spirit animal is that bird that knocks itself unconscious flying into windows.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴