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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Grocery carts should have barcode scanners on them so you can see how much you’re spending as you put things in your cart.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

I never oversleep in the mornings. I set an alarm and a back-up alarm. Plus, there’s also a noisy kid once those fail.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

For financial reasons, I will be passing away.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

OnlyFans, but it’s elderly women teaching you how to sew, knit, can food, quilt, and some solid recipes. OnlyGrans.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

If you’re not easily offended, why are you even online?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

People pleasing doesn’t go well with my black attire.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Now that Christmas and New Year are out of the way, we can focus on the things that really matter: My posts.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Whoever named it overthinking didn’t think hard enough, cause overthinking is never over.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

The worst part of marriage is when you do something stupid, the best part of marriage is when your partner does something stupid.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,709

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

Let’s drink some whiskey and say too much.

Just landed via WeChat:

I hope your day is as nice as my ass.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Don’t be ashamed to fart while you urinate, cause there is no rain without thunder.

Just shared via Instagram:

Ginger ale is the champagne of soda.

Making waves on Slack:

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

Going viral on Facebook:

Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

Just landed via Facebook:

Been acting really busy today because I can tell my coworker wants to talk about something in his personal life.

Live now on Telegram:

Have a good weekend, unless you have other plans.

Shared recently on Threads:

Me and my best friend saying, “Hey, who are we to judge,” after spending 6 hours gossiping.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

My ego is bruised so I’m going to ice it with some cold beer.

Funny David Bowie quotes

New funny David Bowie quotes 👇

I love Queen and David Bowie, but why did they steal that riff from Vanilla Ice?

0

4 months ago

bowie, culture, david, David Bowie, humor, i, ice, love, music, musician, parody, pop, pop culture, queen, riff, song, steal, vanilla, Vanilla Ice, why

Someone from 🇸🇦 has recently shared this quote.

108 shares on Discord this month.
If David Bowie taught us anything, it’s that being a little weird is better than being forgettable.

0

5 months ago

anything, being, better, bowie, david, David Bowie, inspiration, little, memorable, music, personality, taught, uniqueness, us, weird

Someone from 🇳🇱 has recently shared this quote.

59 shares on Slack this month.

All funny David Bowie quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on Pinterest this month:

Y’all scared to be single, I’m scared to be in another pointless relationship.

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

You can either have a nice evening or you can help your child with their math homework. You can’t have both.

47 shares on Instagram this month:

People keep wishing January was over like the worst month of the year isn’t coming up next. Thats like wishing someone would stop arguing with you and just punch you in the face.

56 shares on WeChat this month:

I like to be alone a lot; it’s nothing personal.

75 shares on Threads this month:

Self-discipline is tough because I’m the boss of me, and that guy runs a real loose ship.

86 shares on Instagram this month:

My weight loss journey is just the three hours in between meals.

54 shares on TikTok this month:

I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.

59 shares on Twitch this month:

So, Earth is basically auditions for heaven and hell.

61 shares on Telegram this month:

Don’t you hate it when you lose things? Like the motivation to do anything.

49 shares on Slack this month:

Prior to the arrival of Paper and Scissors, Rock faced no competition.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

I don’t understand people who say “I don’t know how to thank you.” Like they never heard of money.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

I really feel like we need to have more fun in life, because literally nothing matters.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

My comments on your home decor are not criticisms, they are deep concerns.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Why is it called Christian community and not Holyfans?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

“Beauty sleep” is bullshit. I sleep 14 hours a day and still look like trash.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

The only time you should be faking it is when your pet checks to see if you’re awake.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

The worst part about being an adult is that no matter how sad you get, the show must go on.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

When life gives you lemons, give them back and ask what the crap is all about.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Somehow I picked the worst possible decade to try to have a career.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

The secret to a clean home? Never let your husband or children in.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

“Autism didn’t exist until recently!” Have you met old guys who work in hardware stores?

Live now on Threads:

Hey, if the Earth could stop air frying me, that’d be great.

Making waves on Reddit:

It’s interesting growing up and learning that most adults are not smart. I had my suspicions as a kid, but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Live now on Telegram:

Dating over 40 is like Hide and Seek but no one is looking for you.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

You can tell a lot about someone based on which Spice Girl they were most attracted to.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I’m not calling anyone daddy unless I’m asking for money for the mall.

Spotted on Discord:

I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Make every hug more interesting by mysteriously whispering, “the Dark Lord stands at the crossroads!”

Broadcasted on Discord:

I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

Breaking via Slack:

That moment when you realize “yeah, this person is never gonna hear from me again” is so crazy.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny David Bowie quotes

New funny David Bowie quotes 👇

I love Queen and David Bowie, but why did they steal that riff from Vanilla Ice?

If David Bowie taught us anything, it’s that being a little weird is better than being forgettable.

All funny David Bowie quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨