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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Super excited about a brand new year full of questionable life choices.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Just bought 4 pounds of cherries like I’m in some math problem.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

People who live alone should get one practice conversation before they have to speak out loud for the first time that day.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Honestly, I don’t even play an active role in my life any more. Things just happen and I’m like “I guess this is what we’re doing now.”

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Toasters aren’t governed by that little dial. They have free will.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

I think when girls start liking pink again, it means they’re healing.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

I want to have a penguin that just waddles up to me whenever I’m sad.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Phew, I thought the weather was broken because there was this weird yellow thing in the sky. But all’s well, it’s raining again.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

There should be a withering shamrock emoji so that people can express misfortune or Irish grief.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

When I was a kid, I never expected the future to suck this much.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,707

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

Spotted on Slack:

Ever look at someone and think you could spend the rest of your life saying “What?” to this person?

Trending via WhatsApp:

Sure, sex is great, but have you ever closed a dozen tabs after finishing an academic paper?

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Most of my shoulder workout comes from shrugging when people ask me questions.

Making waves on YouTube:

If you respond to my sarcasm with better sarcasm, then I might just catch feelings.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Someone was saying that social media makes you miss out on your real life, but have you seen real life?

Spotted on Discord:

Coffee, because I don’t have time for a manslaughter charge.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Tons of names in my phones are “Kenny Landlord,” “Mike Electric,” or “Pete Do Not Answer,” and I just realized this is how Anglo surnames have always worked.

Spotted on Instagram:

Jingle all the way? In this economy?

Shared recently on YouTube:

Coffee doesn’t even make me feel energized, I just drink it for the love of the game.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,658

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

With a lollipop in one hand and a dandelion in the other, concentration is very important, as every summer child knows.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

God forbid a girl wanna kiss and be kissed.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Salt and pepper shakers add an air of mystique to any bathroom.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m afraid to go to therapy — what if they fix me and I lose my funny?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

I want you to know that whatever problems you’re having, I’m hear to ‘like’ them.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Shut up brain, I wasn’t even talking to me.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Instead of working on making myself a better person, I am going to purchase a cool new jacket.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

The hottest part of sex is when I take off my glasses and put them in a safe place.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Turns out that ending meetings with “have the day you deserve” has made me some enemies at work.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

Nobody cleans better than somebody that’s pissed off.

Live now on Slack:

God doesn’t do nearly enough smiting anymore.

Making waves on Slack:

Her heart is a combination of wildflowers and wildfires, delicate, yet so fierce.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Okay, new plan, I’m going to marry a Kardashian.

Live now on Facebook:

Spotify: enjoy the next 30 minutes commercial free. Also Spotify: we have no concept of time.

Making waves on Discord:

The amount I’m sighing these days could fuel a small wind farm.

Trending via YouTube:

I hate to slut-shame, but a lot of you are not slutty enough.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

One or the other, Lord – I can’t be broke and heartbroken.

Live now on Slack:

How do I gracefully leave this party early but also take the queso dip with me?

Seen just now on WeChat:

I’m slowly becoming an adult. Please make it stop.

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