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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Spongebob never let anyone dull his whimsical spirit.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Born to be a hater but forced to understand where you’re coming from.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

We really do need a separate grocery store for people who’ve been on Earth before.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Getting a second opinion about my Tamagotchi’s health.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Follow me on Instagram if you want to see me post absolutely nothing for weeks.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Neurodivergents will be like, ‘I’m so tired,’ and then refuse to sleep because they haven’t had enough me time after surviving the day.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

I wanna date someone cuter than me, but sadly I am the cutest.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Pretty girls don’t compete. We sit pretty, count blessings, and ignore weird energy.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

How long are you allowed to hide in the bathroom during family visits?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,601

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

Dear diary, sorry for only ever talking about myself. How are you? Do you have any hobbies?

Just shared via Instagram:

Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I’m ready to do things.

Just shared via Threads:

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Going “Omgg, that’s crazy,” every time my coworkers talk until it’s time to go home.

Going viral on Instagram:

Turns out my superpower is the ability to go into incredible detail in completely the wrong direction.

Just shared via Discord:

“You’re so quiet!” Thanks! I actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me.

Making waves on TikTok:

My favorite dance move is trying to get out of my own way.

Just landed via Twitch:

This post is invisible, and only those going to Hell can see it.

Just landed via X:

This meeting could have been a push down the stairs.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage I’m like “yeah, me know”.

Funny Elvis quotes

Funny Elvis quotes are the perfect blend of charm and cheekiness that show the King’s lighter side 🎸👑 Whether you’re a die-hard fan or just love a good laugh, these witty gems will have you smiling and tapping your feet all day long 😄🎤 Get ready to rock ‘n’ roll with some playful Elvis humor that’s as timeless as his hits! 🎶✨

New funny Elvis quotes 👇

All funny Elvis quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on Telegram this month:

My favourite adult hack is when I carefully and thoughtfully put something very important away so I can’t lose it, and then I never find it again.

47 shares on Facebook this month:

The people that ask Grok everything are the same people that follow Google Map directions straight into a lake.

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Called in, “Hey, macarena!” this morning.

22 shares on Slack this month:

Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

52 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Starting to think business is standing on me.

44 shares on Telegram this month:

If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

88 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“Are we still going?” … An introvert’s attempt to cancel.

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

She’s got style. She’s got grace. She dropped her cellphone on her face. She’s a lady.

95 shares on WeChat this month:

Why is it spelled “camouflage” and not “ “?

45 shares on TikTok this month:

Everyone’s a badass until the doorbell rings.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

When you realize a 9 to 5 is actually an 8 to 7, since you cannot teleport to work.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Yes, I was behind the DJ booth, but only as a cultural anthropologist.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Watching “Dirty Dancing” as a teenager: Damn right, no one puts Baby in a corner. Watching “Dirty Dancing” as an adult: This girl is a brat and needs a lesson.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My birthday wish is for everyone to ignore my birthday.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The more nicknames I have for you, the more I like you.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If history is repeating itself, when can I buy a pet dinosaur?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not bossy, I just know exactly what you should be doing.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

This post ain’t gonna like itself, damn.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Playing Mortal Kombat at an arcade in the 90’s would fix me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,443

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

I always work very hard and intensively to ensure that my wife can proudly say: “That idiot over there? Yes, that’s mine!”

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

I shouldn’t have to go to work if it’s rainy. I should get to stare out the window all day like a cat.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

I wonder how much time The Weeknd saves not typing that extra e.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Money saved by using public transport instead of an Uber is paid for with your time and mental health instead.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Pretty sure the inventor of noise-canceling headphones had a young kid trying to learn an instrument.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

“Do you have any hobbies?” Lately, I’ve been really into panicking.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

My favorite thing about summer is opening a window for 30 seconds so an insect that hasn’t been identified by science yet can fly into your home.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

My neighbor is having some kind of party and didn’t invite me. I guess I have to call the cops again.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

One thing I expect that we will learn from the vibe coding era is that most ‘idea guys’ don’t actually have very good ideas.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, you’d almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

Welcome to your 50’s. Your doctor and pharmacist are both in your contacts now.

Going viral on Telegram:

You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I might not be able to speak another language but I can speak English slower!

Just shared via LinkedIn:

“How is the job search going?” First of all, that is a violent question. And it hurts me, by the way. And second, how the hell should I know.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

IKEA assembly instructions should come with a glossary of Swedish swear words.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I hate apps that shut off your music when you open them, like how fu*king important do you think you are?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

All dogs are therapy dogs. The majority are just freelancing.

Just landed via Discord:

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

Spotted on Slack:

I miss when YouTubers would just record for, like, 20 minutes, and upload the whole thing completely unedited.

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