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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

I’d be really slim if it wasn’t for birthdays, anniversaries, Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, weekends and me.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

I’m sick of the Microsoft Authenticator. Like, who would be logging in to do my work?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

As a pigeon mother, I would never let my pigeon daughter hang around the station. That’s really no place for a young pigeon lady.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Just saw a bird run across the street if you were wondering if anyone else is wasting their gifts.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

The most important thing to remember when driving is that not everyone is smart.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

That second wave of sleep after waking up too early.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Have you ever accidentally opened your front-facing camera, and it ruined your day a little?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

I’m sorry I pretended I was dead when I saw you in public.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

I don’t always listen to Metallica, but when I do, so do my neighbors.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1832 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,994

Funny Quotes Topics

14,796

Funny Quotes Images

11,994

3 minutes ago

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

And then I thought to myself, “What’s the point of cleaning if my family is going to keep living here?”

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Training a cat is very easy. After a few days, you do what she wants.

Going viral on Instagram:

The nerve of a majority of people I meet being younger than me. How dare them?

Spotted on Telegram:

Unless I say otherwise, I am always tired.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I’m here by unpopular demand.

Spotted on TikTok:

I see stand-up comedy as a stepping stone to television. A few more paid gigs and I’ll be able to afford a television.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Sorry I’m late. Had to scroll back to my birth year.

Reported on TikTok:

My favorite part about having a Peloton is telling people I have a Peloton.

Going viral on WeChat:

I miss my Dad opening the windows and talking about cross-ventilation.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Not now darling, mummy’s influencing on the www.

Home » Funny Enterprise Quotes

Funny enterprise quotes

New funny enterprise quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: Since there are no other Vulcans on the enterprise and the crew has no comparison, Spock could be and probably is bullshitting them most of the time.

Commentary:
Well, let's face it – Spock does have the whole logical, raised-eyebrow mystique going on! 🖖🤔 Perhaps the crew should invest in a "BS detector" just in case! Live long and prosper… with a hint of skepticism! 🖖🤣

For even more funny enterprise quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny enterprise quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1832 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,994

Funny Quotes Topics

14,796

Funny Quotes Images

11,994

3 minutes ago

3,453

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Summer Olympics is just me swimming in sweat and wrestling with my sports bra.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Breaking news: you’re way less interesting than you think you are.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

We need a word for that weird feeling you get when you learn what a podcaster looks like.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

I’ve never completed a marathon, but I’ve listened to my mom tell a story, so don’t talk to me about endurance.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

I bought a robot vacuum today. Named it “Dustbin Bieber”.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Seriously? I came out of hibernation for this?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Nothing hits harder than opening the fridge for the fifth time, hoping new food magically appeared.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Unsolicited sandwich pics.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

The question of whether an employer values its employees is sometimes answered by the toilet paper.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

I assume people who bookmark my posts are building a case against me.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Pinterest recipe so long that it’s now a limited series on Netflix.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The question I ask myself most often is, “What would a jury think about this?”

Shared recently on TikTok:

Tonight I will make history, by turning off incognito mode.

Spotted on Twitch:

Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

Just shared via WeChat:

My friend and I had a running joke. She said, “Let’s do a marathon,” and then we both laughed.

Going viral on YouTube:

Might start signing off emails with ‘well, I hope you’re happy’

Just landed via Messenger:

Getting paid to sleep would be such a dream job.

Breaking via Facebook:

No, babe, I love your prefrontal cortex. The fully developed ones scare me.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Being too stressed isn’t good for the baby. I’m not pregnant though, it’s just that I’m the baby.

Just shared via YouTube:

I suspect that you don’t lose weight during sport because of the exercise, but because you can’t eat anything during this time.

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