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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Scientists say humans are the most evolved, but bears get to get fat all summer and then sleep for four months, so who’s really ahead.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Time travel is all well and good, but I feel so stupid right now. None of them have the mustache. No way to tell which baby is Hitler.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

That feeling when you take the first bite of your favourite food, that’s called chewphoria.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so make sure you tell bad people they’re bad.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Dear God, thank you for the job I have. But if you have a lottery win planned for me, I’m ready! Thank you.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Sometimes the best thing about my job is that my chair turns.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Pleasing everyone, that’s impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

The billionaires have decided that the people with nothing have too much.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

We are all just prisoners here of our phone device.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

My boyfriend moved in with me straight from Hotel Mama. In a way, I’m now a single parent.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

784 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,946

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,946

Updated

38 minutes ago

Users Online

3,421

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Life would be so much easier if the nose of people who lie all the time did actually grow longer like Pinocchio’s.

Reported on Messenger:

Limiting my replies to introverts, wizards, freaks and vampires only.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Just did a seductive hair flip and an onion ring flew out.

Trending via Messenger:

If you accuse me of yelling, you will start to hear yelling so you can note the difference in the future.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Not now, I’m busy doing tax crimes on my abacus.

Going viral on Instagram:

I end all my sentences with “Just saying..” because ending them with “You bonehead..” would probably be considered offensive.

Seen just now on Discord:

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

Going viral on Discord:

Almost fell asleep while putting on the sweater because it got dark for a moment. That’s all you need to know about my morning state.

Just landed via WeChat:

Why spend like $300 Dollars on a pair of shoes? Do you know how many chicken nuggets you can buy with that money?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’m only awake because my coffee needs me.

Home » Funny Father’s Quotes

Funny father’s quotes

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All funny father’s quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

784 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,946

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,946

Updated

38 minutes ago

Users Online

3,430

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Coworker: Where are you going after work? Me: Away from you.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

My theory is that women’s voices contain frequencies that men simply can’t hear.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Back to work after the long holiday weekend, so you’re finally away from the relatives you don’t like, and back with the co-workers you don’t like.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Idiocracy wasn’t supposed to be a documentary.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Your ex is ruining someone else’s life now. You are safe.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

My teen being nice to me is getting really expensive.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

You want me to do Pilates? The thing that killed Jesus?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

I withdraw my argument. I didn’t realize you had a meme to back you up.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.

Reported on Twitch:

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Foo fighters still fighting foo.

Going viral on Messenger:

Don’t worry, I’m only dead inside from the waist up.

Reported on LinkedIn:

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $1 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst anniversary gifts ever.

Spotted on Facebook:

If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s always better than if you do it yourself. It’s the same with sex.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I will never trust a cake transport box enough to just hold it by the handle.

Trending via Facebook:

I wish I could throw tomatoes at comments.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I can handle most things in life, but hearing people chew isn’t one of them.

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