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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Hate Google’s Gemini. If I wanted to get misinformation from a Gemini, I’d talk to my mother.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. I’m more interested in seeing your Pornhub Wrapped.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

My account is fake, I’m actually your probation officer.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Tired of my landlord depending on my rent. Bro, get a job.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Unless you’re dead wearing a sheet, you got no business ghosting people.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

I’m ready for the exciting last 30 seconds of the basketball game, which stretch into 25 minutes of fouls, time-outs, and commercials.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Uber drivers have secret access to a streaming service of exclusively the worst music you’ve ever heard.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Being a consultant would be fun. Like “hmmm… maybe! Here’s your invoice.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,655

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

Showing my barber a picture of a dinosaur.

Just shared via Slack:

Patience is for beginners. I’d rather freak out straight away!

Trending via Slack:

There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.

Spotted on Reddit:

When someone touches my phone, I automatically turn into a ninja.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

In case you wanna quit vaping, I’d suggest using a harmonica.

Seen just now on X:

Tensing up so the masseuse doesn’t win.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Adulthood is about being able to eat cookies for breakfast, but not doing it because you already ate all the cookies.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’m always looking for new and exciting ways to give up.

Just shared via Discord:

Started the year single. Ending the year single. Consistency is key.

Spotted on YouTube:

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

Funny fizzics quotes

New funny fizzics quotes 👇

He was only called Mr. Pepper until he published his groundbreaking research on fizzics.

4 weeks ago

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All funny fizzics quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

A frightening number of young people alive today don’t know about Knight Rider.

34 shares on Discord this month:

The fact that I exist irritates me at least once a day.

55 shares on WeChat this month:

Telemarketer: “Hello, am I speaking to the head of the household?” Me, handing the phone to my cat: “It’s for you.”

36 shares on X this month:

Salary week, but salary weak.

49 shares on Messenger this month:

Fun fact: the creator of Barbie and the creator of Hot Wheels were husband and wife.

32 shares on YouTube this month:

I’ve been on Facebook for so long, I remember when it all used to be farmland.

93 shares on Reddit this month:

The year flies by when you’re scrolling.

69 shares on Pinterest this month:

The goth urge to live in a haunted Victorian estate and be feared by the townspeople.

16 shares on Threads this month:

I really don’t care what happens to me romantically anymore.

55 shares on TikTok this month:

I like to put “No DMs” in my bio to pretend that I’m attractive.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

The Cranberries. Great band name. You pick a fruit and you get to work.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Not to brag, but I finished an entire book in one sitting. I’m going to need some new crayons.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

If we’re living in a dystopian nightmare, where the hell is my housekeeping robot?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Exercise gives you energy, but you need energy to exercise. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Golf would be more exciting to watch if they played naked.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

I celebrate 4/20 on 1/5 because I know how to reduce fractions.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Heartbreaking: Introvert sentenced to 100 hours of hanging out.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Sorry for bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to bash my head into the walls anymore.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

You have hopes and dreams. I have nopes and screams.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

This heat made me realize I won’t survive in hell, I gotta change.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Sometimes I don’t worry about things at all and other times I am awake.

Breaking via X:

When people block me, I just assume it’s for my rugged good looks and killer jawline.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Very disappointed to find out that the universal remote control I bought does not control the universe.

Breaking via Twitch:

According to my Spotify Wrapped, I am what got played the most this year.

Making waves on YouTube:

I was googling about the best time to visit the Maldives. It’s when you have money.

Going viral on TikTok:

Thank you two-step authentication codes that expire after 60 seconds for providing Mission Impossible-type drama into my mundane suburban existence.

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Funny fizzics quotes

New funny fizzics quotes 👇

He was only called Mr. Pepper until he published his groundbreaking research on fizzics.

All funny fizzics quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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