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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

I woke up again, it’s pathetic how much death fears me.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Please congratulate me on my cool new position! It is the fetal position; I will be in it for a while.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Pregnancy is crazy. You really come home with someone you don’t know, with no teeth.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Menstruation is bizarre. It’s like something David Lynch would have came up with.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

I dunno what I did in a past life but holy crap I’m sorry.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

“Huh” is 94% of my vocabulary.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Called in, “Taking a gap year.”

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Growing old is a process of saying “it’s probably nothing,” with increasing frequency and increasingly being wrong.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Petition to lower the retirement age. I’m tired now.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Dollar Tree need to just go ahead and change the name to Tree of Unexpected Prices.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,574

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

Don’t be ashamed of who you are, that is your parent’s job.

Just shared via TikTok:

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

If you’re alone on Thanksgiving, venmo me $25 and I’ll call and ask you when are you gonna get a “real” job and give me grandchildren.

Shared recently on Threads:

Drinking coffee because hitting people over the head with a shovel is frowned upon.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

Spotted on YouTube:

Sorry I can’t have a pleasant, safe and affordable life, my government said no.

Breaking via Slack:

Babies sighing is so funny to me. My dear, the time to sigh has not come.

Just shared via Slack:

Had a fight with an erection this morning. Beat it single-handed.

Trending via Instagram:

You ever have your knees crack so good that you expect them to glow in the dark. Yeah, me too.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Breakfast in bed: cute in theory, gross in practice.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,857

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

I’m pretty sure by now that we’re some kind of satire channel on some other planet.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

I stopped adding “Let me know if you have any more questions!” to my emails because don’t email me again.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

We always asked “where is Waldo” but never “who is Waldo hiding from”.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Apparently, it’s rude to poke someone in the forehead and yell “Skip Intro” when they start talking to you.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Girls are perverts when they like you.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

iPad PR is so crazy because you think you absolutely need one until you get it.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

I love spending my parents’ money, they must pay for bringing me into this world.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

My brain has too many tabs open and one of them is playing music I can’t find.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

Once you find humor in any situation, you have nothing to fear.

Going viral on Reddit:

Fundamentally, I understand chess, because I too would never let my king feel unsafe.

Spotted on Instagram:

Cooking with glasses on is so humiliating. Why did I just get blinded by steam?

Spotted on Messenger:

Unfortunately, a great many problems in life can be solved by just being hotter.

Just shared via Facebook:

“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

Live now on TikTok:

Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.

Just landed via Telegram:

Whoever said it was okay to let your pets sleep in your bed, thanks a lot, now my goldfish is dead.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Hugging helps break the tension with strangers in elevators.

Making waves on Telegram:

Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

Trending via Twitch:

Netflix should’ve just maybe mailed us all this fight on DVD.

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