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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

After weeks of using an anti aging cream, I can now proudly say: I now have very well-maintained wrinkles.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

We’re all in the billionaire submarine now.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Using ChatGPT requires you to actually be smart; otherwise, it just regurgitates your dumb takes back to you.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Asking myself if that was too weird after I hit send.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

I hope one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

I’m going to a karaoke bar tomorrow, where I’ll sing every song in the style of Yoko Ono.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Nothing like a meteor shower to remind you that burning out can still be breathtaking.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who turns every black shirt into an abstract deodorant mural.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

I quit boxing the moment I realized my opponent was allowed to punch me in the face, too.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

“Santa isn’t real!” Okay, I literally just saw him at the mall.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,318

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Hot girls have a private Instagram account with 20 followers.

Seen just now on TikTok:

We should be able to call in healthy: “I feel amazing today, and I’m not wasting it at work.”

Seen just now on WeChat:

Always tell people different stories about yourself, so when they talk about you, they’ll argue.

Going bananas on TikTok:

You need a twins name suggestion? How about Kate and DupliKate?

Spotted on Telegram:

If we keep saving daylight, daylight will never learn to save itself.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Nothing like a grandfather clock to remind you every hour that you’re still awake.

Spotted on Telegram:

Christmas adverts: “Eat all the food! Drink all the drink! Spoil yourself! It’s Christmas!” New year adverts: “Look at what you’ve done to yourself, you fat sack of shit!”

Spotted on Slack:

Moving houses/apartments gotta be top 3 worst human experiences.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on TikTok this month:

Men call us “gold diggers” when we expect them to pay for a meal. Honey, a gold digger goes after yachts, not a piece of chicken.

40 shares on Discord this month:

If I win the lottery, I’m buying four politicians and some really nice shoes.

91 shares on TikTok this month:

Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

You really have to enjoy the way a man is acting in the beginning, because you will never meet that man again.

68 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’ve got a soft heart and a savage mouth. I’m like a Hallmark card written by Gordon Ramsay.

22 shares on Snapchat this month:

When is someone actually going to change the surprise in the avocado? This hard core is kind of a stupid toy.

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I hope I don’t die of something stupid like old age, I want a piano to fall on my head.

21 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m sorry I said “I look forward to working with you” during our wedding vows.

86 shares on YouTube this month:

The most expensive clothing you’ll ever wear is a hospital gown.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

An electric car is just another electric chair.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I thrive in a waiting room. You need me to sit in a chair and look at my phone? No worries, love, I do this at home.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s not gonna be a civil war. None of us can afford to take that much time off work.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Roadtripping with my family has taught me that my marriage can withstand anything except roadtripping with my family.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Who needs a weighted blanket when you’ve got the weight of the world?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe everyone can just pee outside from now on so I never have to clean the toilets again.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Today, I’m wearing pink to raise awareness for people like me who forget to separate their red laundry from their whites.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is short, flirt with me!

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Much like an Olympic sprinter, I also load up on carbs, exert myself for roughly two minutes, and then quit for the rest of the day.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand how some people find love several times in their lives. I first have to find someone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,424

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

“November Rain” is just 9 minutes of me realizing I’m too dramatic to date someone with healthy coping skills.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

They should invent a Twitter where the timeline doesn’t refresh against your will.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Why talk to bots when my plants listen just fine?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Throwing “whereupon” into a few work emails today to keep it fun.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

I will never forget when my dad had a guy from Verizon call me in middle school to tell me that I was using more data than Obama and that I need to stop.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Snaccident: eating a whole bag of Doritos in one sitting.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

I’ve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far no one has given me a straight answer.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

“You’re not allowed to be grumpy on a Friday, it’s in the fine print somewhere.”

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

Going viral on Snapchat:

You don’t have to be crazy to be friends with me. I also train people.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

One day I will start learning from my mistakes. Today is not that day. Tomorrow isn’t looking so good either.

Breaking via X:

I never wanted to become one of those adults who just find the music of the younger generation annoying. Nobody could have guessed that the music was just annoying.

Live now on Twitch:

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’m so glad I cleaned the house so the kids have a clean canvas to drop their stuff everywhere.

Seen just now on Telegram:

About to form my very first opinion.

Shared recently on WeChat:

The real threat to Democracy is the Bureaucracy.

Going bananas on YouTube:

January: the Monday of months.

Going viral on Reddit:

If you see me online, I’m not chatting. I’m busy ignoring the world and laughing at memes like it’s therapy.

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