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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

A few months after the wedding, Cinderella’s husband began to complain about her having too many shoes.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Some things are better left unsaid, unless you’re on X.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Few things in life are as disappointing as having to poop right after a shower.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

“You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Please no more relationships that are supposed to be a lesson. I’m already quite the scholar.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

I’ve tasted long-term relationships, I’ve tasted casual dating. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 9 p.m. ..!

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Why’d they call it a fly swatter and not a splatula?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

If I honk at this person, maybe it will make them a better person.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

My kids want to know what’s for dinner, like they’re going to be happy with the answer.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

I shaved my legs today and it was the fastest 3lbs I’ve ever lost in my life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,323

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

The best thing about dogs is you can act like something really good just happened, and they’ll instantly start celebrating too. They have no idea what the context is; they’re just always ready to party, no matter what.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

Freshly posted on X:

What are y’all gonna do when those labubus come to life and start biting y’alls ankles?

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

It triggers the little girl in me when I feel like I’m not being listened to when I’m talking.

Just landed via Instagram:

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

Spotted on Twitch:

Look at you with tape over your camera, while Amazon, Facebook, and Google have your whole life on file.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

My house was clean yesterday. Sorry, you missed it.

Just shared via X:

Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

Just landed via X:

A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

Going viral on TikTok:

Just when you’ve built some confidence that you’re a smarter than average human, universe sends you captcha.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Twitch this month:

Right before rock bottom, you’ll have a city builder game on your phone.

87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Your honor, my client doesn’t like jail.

59 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m very loyal to whatever brand is on sale.

64 shares on Reddit this month:

No kids at my wedding. Gonna Uber the flower girl home when she’s done.

28 shares on Slack this month:

If I ever went to jail for murder, it would be for murdering my printer.

80 shares on X this month:

Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.

23 shares on Snapchat this month:

I wait all week for the weekend just to aggressively do nothing in five different outfits.

22 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m ugly but I can make u laugh.

21 shares on Twitch this month:

I hate it when my pillow is not pillowing like it should. You have one job. Be a pillow man. You are pillow. Act like one!

88 shares on Reddit this month:

What if all the ancient Greek sculptures are actually victims of Medusa?

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Responding to all selfies with “this should work.”

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m going to need to rewatch Idiocracy to see what happens next.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Wondering when these skinny jeans are gonna kick in.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My bear’s diarrhea problems are really starting to worry me. The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The question of whether an employer values its employees is sometimes answered by the toilet paper.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Being anti-AI right now feels like being one of the few unbitten humans in a zombie apocalypse.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Petition to lower the retirement age. I’m tired now.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My problem areas are my upper arms and earth.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,398

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

It’s a beautiful day to ignore your existing problems and create new ones.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

A collective orgasm would fix the world.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

They say “When you snooze, you lose”… I say “When you take a nappy, you are happy.”

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Don’t worry password, I’m insecure too.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

My New Year’s resolution is to be less presumptuous and rude to others. I’ll bet yours is to lose weight, isn’t it?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Sometimes I think I’m too old to make a career change. But then I remember how Walter White went from high school teacher to drug kingpin. Anything is possible!

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

The masculine urge to hitch your pants up after making a minor decision.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

They all cheat, lie and manipulate. Just pick the pretty one.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

You don’t scare me, I was married once.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

Am I the only one who prays about everything? Like, ‘God, please help me find where I dropped my AirPods.’

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

August is almost over. September is next week. Time to pick out a Halloween costume and start your Christmas shopping. Happy New Year, everybody.

Just shared via Pinterest:

My husband cleaned the kitchen for the first time in years. He’s in the living room, dressed in a suit, waiting for the award ceremony to commence.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Crossing things off my to-do list… I didn’t do them, I just don’t want them on my list anymore.

Shared recently on Discord:

You should just baseline mistrust every single politician at every level until they prove themselves worthy of liking.

Live now on Telegram:

No plans and no pants kind of day.

Spotted on Instagram:

The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

Trending via YouTube:

I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

Going viral on Discord:

I don’t want to brag or anything, but I can still fit in the earrings I wore in high school.

Going bananas on WeChat:

My Mom say that everyone has a beautiful side, so I guess I’m a circle.

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