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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Hear me out. A waiting room where the doctors wait.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Going to the gym to exercise my demons.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Startup idea: Instagram, but it only shows you posts from people you follow, and they’re in chronological order.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

People without a sense of humor should not be allowed to decide what people with a sense of humor are allowed to laugh at.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Men will ruin your whole life then come back and like your story.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

After all the books are banned, they’ll move on to suggestive fruit.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

I need you to think about me 23/7. You get 1 hour a day for yourself.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Sharpening pencils at the bin was the biggest link-up.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

But he was so nice on the prison phone calls.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

4,003

Social Media Log 💫

Funny Germans quotes

New funny Germans quotes 👇

My grandad fought Germans on the beaches of Normandy. This was last summer and it was very embarrassing.

0

2 months ago

bea, embarrassing, family, fight, Germans, grandad, humor, last, Normandy, summer, war

All funny Germans quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Reddit this month:

Boobs always win. That’s why we don’t play rock, paper, boobs.

59 shares on Reddit this month:

I wish laying in bed all day made me rich.

51 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Trust my gut? The thing that makes weird gurgling noises immediately when a work meeting goes quiet.

53 shares on Reddit this month:

I may be a chaotic mess, but then so is quantum physics.

98 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Why is incognito mode always associated with freaky shit? I use it to search up very obvious questions, so there’s no record of me looking dumb.

97 shares on Twitch this month:

I’d probably be a very chill werewolf, even during a full moon.

82 shares on X this month:

There are so many people going to hell. I’m thinking of investing in some property there.

54 shares on Discord this month:

To save money in this economy, I’ve tried eating out and I’ve tried cooking at home. The answer is starvation.

62 shares on Reddit this month:

The perfect job for me would be the person staining things for detergent commercials.

16 shares on Messenger this month:

Absolutely destroyed my bed last night… I cuddled those covers so hard.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Are you stupid, sand? You could just lay here forever on this beautiful beach, but no, you have to try with all you’ve got, to get into my shoes.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

I could never journal, I’d start lying in there too.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Mercury is no longer in retrograde, so never trust a cow because the sun can’t swim.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

I trust an insult more than I do a compliment.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Don’t blame the alcohol. You were an idiot before you started drinking.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

You realize you’re getting old when your body parts start fighting over which one hurts first.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

I came, I saw, I took a selfie as proof that I came and saw.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Does everyone in the world want to come to my house tomorrow?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

I never oversleep in the mornings. I set an alarm and a back-up alarm. Plus, there’s also a noisy kid once those fail.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies. She is not “fun to be around”.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

My dog just looked me in the eye and said “no one is gonna believe you”, then took a nap.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Having Twitter is just like reading the newspaper, except the newspaper is on fire and all the writers hate you.

Going viral on Slack:

Some things are better left unsaid, unless you’re on X.

Going viral on Messenger:

I never get as envious of parents as I do when their baby starts crying and they get to leave the event.

Spotted on Instagram:

Hate it when my mouth says something my brain was trying to keep quiet.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

“No idea” doesn’t mean I don’t know the answer. I just don’t want to have a conversation.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

A burrito is just a sleeping bag for beans.

Going viral on Telegram:

Spotify Wrapped? Next year, maybe you should try to be in the top .05% of listeners to your girlfriend.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

If you ever find yourself mad at me, put a cape on so you can be super mad.

Making waves on YouTube:

What was the main bloke called in Harry Potter?

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Activity Log ✨

Funny Germans quotes

New funny Germans quotes 👇

My grandad fought Germans on the beaches of Normandy. This was last summer and it was very embarrassing.

All funny Germans quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨