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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

In a parallel universe, I go to bed early and wake up fresh and unstoppable.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Don’t feel bad if you don’t succeed on your first try. It took Michael Angelo sixteen chapels.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Saying “You’re tearing this family apart” whenever someone argues with me.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

“Santa isn’t real!” Okay, I literally just saw him at the mall.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

When I was a kid I thought shrimp cocktails had alcohol in them and I thought it was such a weird way to get drunk.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Who really needs jetpacks, I want to be able to start over from my last save point.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Hide and seek, except it’s my husband searching for where he last put his pants.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I believe my ex-wife is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

The date abruptly ended over a disagreement on how to pronounce Gnocchi.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,668

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

A toddler in their “why” phase makes you realize how little you know.

Just landed via Twitch:

“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

Trending via Facebook:

If I worked construction, I would always say, “It’s hammer time,” when I left for work.

Seen just now on YouTube:

“I’m going to try underthinking about a situation, and see if that works.”

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Wife bought something on FB Marketplace, but she’s afraid she’ll get kidnapped, so she sends me to pick it up from a guy whose wife sent him because she’s afraid to get kidnapped.

Making waves on Snapchat:

You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

Breaking via WeChat:

Don’t compare yourself with others. Everyone is better than you.

Live now on YouTube:

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Don’t put words in my mouth—that’s where the hot dogs go.

Spotted on Pinterest:

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

Funny get over quotes

Funny get over quotes are the perfect remedy when life throws you a curveball 🎢😂 Whether you’re moving on from a breakup, a bad day, or just awkward moments, these witty one-liners will have you laughing through the healing process 🤪💔➡️😄 Ready to turn that frown upside down? Let the humor do the heavy lifting and say goodbye to the past with a smile! 😎✌️

New funny get over quotes 👇

All funny get over quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Messenger this month:

I received a DM telling me that I’ve offended some of you. I’m truly sorry; I meant to offend all of you.

53 shares on Messenger this month:

Whoever said “Out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear in their bedroom.

98 shares on Twitch this month:

The empty spot in your bed is for snacks, not liars.

48 shares on Threads this month:

Shutting up is gluten-free. Maybe add that to your diet, princess.

41 shares on Discord this month:

I’m gonna be the first zoomer to start dropping the ‘two thousand’ when referring to the past. “Yeah, that was back in ‘17.”

29 shares on Threads this month:

Home: Where I can look ugly and not care.

22 shares on WeChat this month:

A credit card is kind of like a gift card to every store.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

If you want to make your mother proud, make her my mother-in-law.

91 shares on X this month:

Contrary to what we currently believe, we don’t choose afternoon naps. Afternoon naps choose us.

20 shares on Slack this month:

Facebook is extremely over-engineered for a birthday reminder app.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a kid is so fun when you’re childish, like yeah, it’s my turn with the slime, boo.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My doctor told me to try a milk bath. Adding the Cinnamon Toast Crunch was my idea.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Why, as a hair, would you even wanna be ingrown. Like why are you doing that?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Applying lip balm when you know someone’s watching you is a power move.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My mom be cutting up fruit and bringing it to me in my room without saying nothing. That’s when it hits me, nobody ever gonna love me this much.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t know a person until you’ve seen them eat popcorn.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Every room is a panic room if someone farts.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

You can recognize working-class kids by the fact that they hang their jacket over the chair in the restaurant and not on the coat hook.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Those who run away from me are afraid that they might confess their love to me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,590

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Me, whenever I can easily do some yoga pose, “This can’t be right.”

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

I don’t understand, “kill them with kindness”; can I use a lightsaber instead?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Sometimes my mouth hits send before my brain has a chance to stop it.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Flex on strangers by asking them if they remember you.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Every morning I regret why I didn’t sleep earlier the night before.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

There used to be many different names for the childhood game of knocking on doors and running away. But these days, it’s simply referred to as ‘being an Amazon driver’.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

It whistles, doesn’t it? Your head when it’s windy.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

“Your call is very important to us. Please stay on the line until your call is no longer important to you.”

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Don’t feel bad if you don’t succeed on your first try. It took Michael Angelo sixteen chapels.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Photogenic people are magical. You could snap a pic of them mid- explosive diarrhea, and they’d still look good.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Most insane people live outside of madhouses.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

At some point, my colleagues will manage to get me my own true crime documentary on Netflix.

Making waves on YouTube:

Finally got around to emptying the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something started its independence movement in there.

Breaking via Twitch:

Sometimes I just stand in the sun and stare at nothing, like a dog.

Spotted on YouTube:

Twitter will always be your best app if you’re single, funny, or just depressed.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Look away from your laptop for 1 second, and MS Teams will say you left the country.

Going bananas on Telegram:

A foghorn but for people who can’t see through their own bullshit.

Live now on Pinterest:

If you’re a man and don’t feel well or are going through something tough, just remember no one cares.

Going bananas on X:

Post beach shower is undefeated. Greatest feeling a human could experience. Throw a nap in there, and you will never touch serenity so close.

Shared recently on TikTok:

The sexual tension between me and the alternate reality I daydream about.

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