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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

I deal with my personal problems the same way I study for tests, I don’t.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Sometimes my body needs to be punished by Taco Bell.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

I would just once like to feel as powerful as a toddler throwing their sippy cup whilst sitting atop their high chair.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

I would love to go back to the days when the biggest stress was finding the best hiding place when playing hide and seek.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Summer is the best because there’s always a chance I’ll see someone trip on their own flip flop.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

“You’re so quiet!” Thanks! I actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

You’re not lazy, you’re just buffering in HD.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

I get it, sauce, I also thicken over time.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Once I shot a man with a paintball gun, just to watch him dye.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Bored as hell. Anyone want to emotionally manipulate each other?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

823 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,985

Funny Quotes Topics

13,927

Funny Quotes Images

10,985

Updated

42 minutes ago

Users Online

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today, I need to be chased through the woods by a machete-wielding maniac.

Seen just now on X:

I’m not drunk enough for this Teams meeting.

Going viral on YouTube:

The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.

Trending via WhatsApp:

My goal is to do one thing each day that could prevent me from being elected to political office.

Shared recently on X:

Ladies, if you receive flowers with no card on them today, they’re from me.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Every time I blink, it’s Monday again. I can’t live like this.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Just remembered why I went upstairs yesterday.

Making waves on TikTok:

I need an emergency cheeseburger.

Trending via Twitch:

In my defense, Your Honor, I grossly misunderstood the meaning of Boxing Day.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

We’ve had far more storms since we started naming them. We’re giving them the attention they crave. Just call it needy wind.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

823 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,985

Funny Quotes Topics

13,927

Funny Quotes Images

10,985

Updated

42 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

A swear jar for Twitter would end world hunger.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Bought an eggplant, imma grow my own eggs.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Dates are weird, like, okay I guess I’ll dress up for my romantic interview.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

If you pick a movie that’s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

God, I was so happy when I was 18. I wasn’t at the time, but in retrospect I was.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Life hack: put on an apron at home and people think you’re super busy doing important stuff even when you’re not.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Pinterest:

I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I’m not home.

Trending via Facebook:

Why do my fully charged AirPods deplete at different rates? Do I listen harder out of one ear?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Why have abs when you can have kebabs?

Just landed via Instagram:

Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam and they’re just using it to make TVs.

Live now on Facebook:

Everyone you know is fighting battles you don’t know about, except for my neighbor who just can not shut up about his battles.

Going viral on Reddit:

Fellas, if your lady is mad, ask her if it’s because she’s put on some weight. That’ll calm her down.

Just landed via Instagram:

At bedtime, I ceremonially move the claw clip from my hair to the bag of chips, signifying the end of the day.

Spotted on Messenger:

Doing my bit for the evolution of the human race by eating lots of carbs and never exercising. We will adapt!

Live now on Discord:

Umbrellas are great if you only want to get wet sideways.

Breaking via Instagram:

My daughter’s morning alarm is less to wake her up, and more to warn the rest of us.

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