Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Not commenting on your girl’s stuff is weird. I want my man barking in my comments.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Perhaps moths don’t seek the light, but are simply fleeing the darkness.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Shit posting is cheaper than therapy.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Dear Math, I don’t want to solve your problem, I have my own problems to solve.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

He was only called Mr. Pepper until he published his groundbreaking research on fizzics.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

I have an addiction to pattern recognition.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes, only to turn around and, to your horror, the pot.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

I have lived way too many lives for people to think they know everything about me.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

You’re not going to believe this, but I was doing really well, and then your email found me.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Quality women really do attract everyone. A bright light always attracts all types of bugs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

515 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,108

Funny Quotes Topics

17,263

Funny Quotes Images

15,108

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,729

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

I like my bacon like I like my men, slightly burnt and crispy, and probably killing me slowly.

Live now on Threads:

When I become president, any public holiday that falls on a Thursday automatically extends to Friday.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I thought I needed a drink. Turns out what I really needed was a divorce.

Seen just now on Instagram:

When the salesman from the hearing aid company calls, I stay on the line and answer every question with ‘What?’

Breaking via X:

Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”

Freshly posted on Slack:

My body is 70% water and 30% tired of pretending I know what I’m doing.

Going viral on Telegram:

I hope whoever came up with the spelling for Wednesday was punished for their actions.

Spreading quickly via X:

In my 20s: Jingle all the way. In my 40s: Jingle til around ten.

Shared recently on Threads:

Having a sore throat as a giraffe must really suck.

Going viral on Reddit:

Me rereading his texts after we’ve already said goodnight just so I can giggle and blush all over again.

Home » Funny Gift Opening Quotes

Funny gift opening quotes

New funny gift opening quotes 👇

(While my wife opens up her Christmas present) Remember when you said we needed milk?

0

13 hours ago

Christmas, Christmas present, gift, gift opening, humor, milk, opening, present, remember, said, while, wife

All funny gift opening quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on Facebook this month:

I just sneezed my wife awake from a nap so any discussion about renewing vows is on hold for a bit.

68 shares on Slack this month:

Hey, you should start your own business and then mind it.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

Being an adult is spending every day looking at a pill bottle, wondering, “Did I take this already?”

97 shares on Discord this month:

I need an emergency cheeseburger.

42 shares on WhatsApp this month:

There’s something about Dracula I just don’t trust.

58 shares on Telegram this month:

Feeling guilty for taking up the entire therapy session talking about myself.

21 shares on TikTok this month:

In six days God created heaven and earth. On the seventh day, in the interests of balance, the BBC interviewed Satan.

85 shares on Reddit this month:

I have browser tabs open that are older than you.

11 shares on WeChat this month:

Preparing for the apocalypse by becoming fluent in zombie.

76 shares on Twitch this month:

Only thing that can cure my depression is $500 million.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Not looking for a sugar daddy, but something more of a pay pal.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

I just think we should kiss. And kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss. But that’s just me.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Bold of you to assume I have the energy to even climb a hill to die on.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Girl, I’m bored. Let’s start drinking the daily recommended 10-15 cups of water.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Just cleaned out my junk drawer if anyone needs a CD to reinstall Windows 95.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Since the beginning of time itself, people have been wondering, what the hell is going on?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

I started at the bottom and worked my way down.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

This is my phone. I text back when I want to.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

A pretty girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with her.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

For all those wondering, yes, I am retired. I was tired yesterday, and I am tired again today.

Just shared via Instagram:

Neurodivergents will be like, ‘I’m so tired,’ and then refuse to sleep because they haven’t had enough me time after surviving the day.

Breaking via Facebook:

150 years ago, you could just fake your death and go overseas and live a completely different life if you didn’t like the way the cards were originally dealt.

Going viral on Messenger:

Can drunk people actually not control their actions or is it just an excuse to do some crazy stuff?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

It’s crazy how social media convinced us that 15 likes aren’t enough. Imagine 15 people in real life telling you that you looked good.

Going viral on Slack:

I just wanna be rich enough to not have to run onstage after concerts to get my bra back.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

We really do need a separate grocery store for people who’ve been on Earth before.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Missionary, so I can look him in the eyes and ask him why Ashley from work is texting him with heart eyes.

Breaking via WeChat:

When I say I love the ocean, I mean I love the surface. Whatever goes on beneath has my respect, but it’s none of my business.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny gift opening quotes

New funny gift opening quotes 👇

(While my wife opens up her Christmas present) Remember when you said we needed milk?

All funny gift opening quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨