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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

I get sad when I see how old people my age are.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

I think fathers lose their mind a little bit when they realize their daughters aren’t as forgiving as their wives.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

I hate being around people who mistake my childlike wonder as naivety or weakness. I am simply a war general who loves to giggle.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Naps are like gambling for the tired. You either wake up refreshed or too late to lots of angry texts.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

When your kids embarrass you in public, the only way out is to turn away in disgust and mutter loudly, “Who raised you?”

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

In these difficult times, it’s important to remember that cheese exists.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

I commented to a friend that I didn’t know how goofy Scream was. It turns out I have never seen Scream. I saw Scary Movie.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Are you really a personal trainer or do you just want to wear shorts to work every day?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,623

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

I’m not climbing a hill if I’m dying. That sounds terrible. I’ll die on this chair. Drinking orange Fanta.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Somebody should tell James Cameron the world doesn’t need any more frigging Avatar movies.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food, and all I find is ingredients.

Breaking via Discord:

I’m an adult in the same way that Katy Perry is an astronaut.

Shared recently on Messenger:

You ever get road rage while walking behind someone moving slowly at the grocery store?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Just told my kids it’s illegal to have the light on while we’re driving. I will not break this cycle.

Just shared via Twitch:

I was told to be more optimistic so I’ve decided french fries aren’t bad for me.

Breaking via Slack:

Dating profiles should make you share a sound bite of you sneezing.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I eat my first meal of the day in the afternoon, bro. Don’t ask me for advice.

Going viral on Reddit:

Never underestimate the healing power of a cheeseburger.

Funny have it all quotes

New funny have it all quotes 👇

Feminism convinced women they could have it all. Now they’re 40, independent, and crying in a very nice but empty apartment.

2 weeks ago

40, apartment, crying, empty, feminism, have it all, humor, independence, independent, nice, women

All funny have it all quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on Discord this month:

A bridesmaid, but to carry the end of my CVS receipt.

100 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

92 shares on YouTube this month:

High school crushes were crazy because, why the hell was I running all over school just to catch a glimpse of him.

99 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My mind is like someone dumped the entire junk drawer on a trampoline.

94 shares on Slack this month:

The recipe I’m making specifically says allow to cook undisturbed, and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.

92 shares on Reddit this month:

Did it make you feel powerful when you didn’t let me merge onto the highway?

13 shares on Facebook this month:

On a scale of quack to quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack, what do you think of my duck-based numbering system?

62 shares on YouTube this month:

No place in this world is as dark as my archived chats on WhatsApp.

35 shares on Discord this month:

Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.

94 shares on Snapchat this month:

Why are fish the only thing you can monger? Let me monger some other stuff.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? Here, but fatter.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Before we all die from nuclear war or a global climate crisis, can we get a little alien invasion as a treat.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

This gratitude journal looks a lot like a grocery list.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

I would prefer not to.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

If alcohol damages your short-term memory, imagine what alcohol can do.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

One day I’ll have a sassy, know-it-all daughter, and my husband will say, “She got that from you,” and I can’t wait.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to walk into a cafe looking confused.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Thanksgiving ain’t been the same ever since my uncle pulled that gun out on everybody.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

There is no physical evidence to say that today is Tuesday, we all just have to trust that someone kept count since the first one ever.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Quitting my job to focus on being in love.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

Adulthood is realising no one cares about you, and the show must go on.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Don’t break someone’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206 of them.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I wish someone would light up the way Siri does when I say, “Hey.”

Seen just now on TikTok:

Imagine how organized the first person to write down a recipe must have been.

Just shared via Pinterest:

They should invent a day where it all works out.

Making waves on WeChat:

Dogs naturally form packs, and if left undisturbed, will teach themselves how to play poker.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

When I don’t have money, I stop talking to women out of respect.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I really love how squirrels get extra chubby heading into winter mostly because it’s super relatable.

Spotted on Telegram:

ROMO (relief of missing out)

Breaking via Discord:

Every girl is defined by their one lost love. And by that I mean the one fast food item that was discontinued without warning, subsequently ruining their life.

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Funny have it all quotes

New funny have it all quotes 👇

Feminism convinced women they could have it all. Now they’re 40, independent, and crying in a very nice but empty apartment.

All funny have it all quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

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