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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

I was brought up in the wild by hyenas. Times were hard, food was scarce but we had some great laughs.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

The only guarantee in life is, if you run errands looking like shit, you will run into everyone you haven’t seen in months.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

If you like pointing out beautiful scenery to three people who are on their phones, a family road trip is for you.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

If I ever went to jail for murder, it would be for murdering my printer.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

I’m currently trying not to read anything about carbohydrates after 4pm.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Did you know that if you listen to any Black Sabbath album backwards, you can hear them singing backwards?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Texas Chain Saw Massacre is full of plot holes. What happens to the victims when they die? Is there an afterlife?

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Let’s drink some whiskey and say too much.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

A swear jar for Twitter would end world hunger.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Either you’re violently frolicking with me or you’re violently frolicking against me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

Updated

50 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

Being in love will have you put your pride aside and go to places you never thought you would, like New Jersey.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Are you really a personal trainer or do you just want to wear shorts to work every day?

Seen just now on TikTok:

I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

In my experience, bowling and pancakes have the same energy. High hopes at the beginning, lowered self-esteem at the end.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I’ll shop.

Going viral on TikTok:

People in their late 20s and early 30s are like “this is my emotional support trip to Japan.”

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Don’t let the British accent fool you. I’m not saying anything smart.

Shared recently on Instagram:

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.

Seen just now on Facebook:

When someone giving me directions says, “You can’t miss it,” I would love to tell them just how wrong they were if I could find my way back to them.

Making waves on Reddit:

I really love how squirrels get extra chubby heading into winter mostly because it’s super relatable.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

Updated

50 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

You ever met someone so dumb you gotta take a deep breath before responding to them?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

A dating app for people who are way too into cookies, called Crumble.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Caught a belt loop on a door handle and got yanked back with such force that my audio is no longer in sync with my actions.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Being skinny may be nice, but chicken nuggets are even nicer.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

If “live each day as if it’s your last” means being paralyzed with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, then I am absolutely nailing it.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

My favorite thing to do at the gym is stay home and eat a piece of cake.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Deleted all dating apps, instead I’m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Is it better to beat someone to the punch or punch someone to the beat?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Cancel culture has been canceled.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Internet strangers offer the best advice.

Just landed via Twitch:

Don’t feel bad if you don’t succeed on your first try. It took Michael Angelo sixteen chapels.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Spice up your work day by drinking your coffee from a flask.

Shared recently on Discord:

Netflix needs to stop asking if I’m still watching and start asking if I moved the laundry to the dryer yet.

Reported on Telegram:

I’ve disappointed better people.

Seen just now on Reddit:

One of the toughest jobs in parenting is serving the inevitable eviction notice on your kid’s pillow fort.

Spotted on Discord:

Could you even imagine the crime rate if no one drank coffee or ate bacon.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I love how every website has a “Keep me signed in on this computer” button and it’s just straight up bullshit.

Just shared via Facebook:

Work meetings would be a lot more fun if they took place in a giant IKEA ball pit.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

The longest and most adventurous journeys begin with the words: “I know a shortcut.”

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