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56 Funny head quotes

A two-step guide to warning someone not to hit their head: 1. Wait until they’ve hit their head. 2. Say “Ooh, mind your head!”

3 months ago

I always fear that one day I will enter my house and find a thief, knocked out unconscious by the things fallen on his head from some closet.

3 months ago

If you’re going to stare all night and not say hello, do you mind taking your fingers and squishing my head from across the room?

3 months ago

Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.

3 months ago

The class: “You want us to do what?” Super Mario: “Jump around, catch and eat the giant mushroom, bang your head against the crates and, if necessary, crush all the critters. It’sa easy!”

3 months ago

Nature is fascinating. A dandelion makes it through concrete, while I get my head stuck in my sweater in the morning.

3 months ago

If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger.

3 months ago

The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.”

3 months ago

If I shook my head at every stupid thing I saw, I’d have permanent whiplash.

3 months ago

I hope I don’t die of something stupid like old age, I want a piano to fall on my head.

3 months ago

Having a teenager is fun because the voice in my head that questions everything I do now has a friend.

3 months ago

Through repetition and sheer will I’ve mastered gracefully falling on my head.

3 months ago

Nothing more rude than taking a photo of yourself and it looking like how you actually look, and not how you look inside your head.

3 months ago

I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

3 months ago

No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.

3 months ago

I might look calm, but in my head I’ve punched you in the face three times.

3 months ago