98 funny head quotes - Page 2 - Wordgag

If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

May 25, 2026

I saw someone wearing a shirt today that said “Eat Pasta Run Fasta,” and I can’t get it out of my head.

May 25, 2026

If you’re gonna spend so much time in my head, would it kill you to tidy up a bit?

May 25, 2026May 25, 2026

It probably feels so good to ram your head into something as a cat.

May 25, 2026

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

May 25, 2026

Noise cancelling headphones but for when the noises are coming from inside your head.

May 25, 2026

I have had songs stuck in my head and I have had people stuck in my head, I highly recommend songs.

May 25, 2026

Shaking my head like an Etch a Sketch to get my thoughts right.

May 25, 2026

Hate when people ask “why is it called Silence of the Lambs?” Like, did you hear any lambs during the movie? Use your head!

May 25, 2026

The most attractive thing a man can do is hitting his own head and repeating “stupid, stupid, stupid”.

May 24, 2026

If you think I’m rude, you should hear the voices in my head.

May 24, 2026

You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

May 24, 2026

I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

May 24, 2026

I love ketchup from my head to-ma-toes.

May 24, 2026

You can tell a lot about someone by the stuff you make up in your head about them.

May 24, 2026

I’m sorry your man wears his sunglasses on the back of his head.

May 24, 2026

Just walked by an empath and his head exploded.

May 24, 2026

I got one brain cell left and it moves around my head like a Windows screensaver.

May 24, 2026

I always have a bad connection in my head when someone tries to explain a card or board game to me.

May 23, 2026

Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

May 23, 2026

Having a peanut allergy has to be so wild. Like, imagine you’re at a baseball game and there are people chucking bags of rattlesnakes past your head.

May 23, 2026

One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.

May 23, 2026

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

May 23, 2026

It whistles, doesn’t it? Your head when it’s windy.

May 23, 2026

A car window made specifically for a dog to stick its head out of is called a sunwoof.

May 23, 2026

Twitter is the only place you argue with CEOs and heads of states while sleeping in the kitchen.

May 23, 2026

Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

May 23, 2026

I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

May 22, 2026

My head is starting to get dented from hitting rock bottom so often.

May 22, 2026

People believe that they have brains but maybe that’s just inside their heads.

May 22, 2026

If I don’t duck my head when I drive into the parking garage, what’s gonna keep my car from hitting the ceiling?

May 22, 2026

Sometimes the voices in my head get bullied by the voices in my stomach.

May 22, 2026

My card got declined at the barbershop so they put all the hair in my mouth and squeezed me until it came out of my head.

May 22, 2026

A two-step guide to warning someone not to hit their head: 1. Wait until they’ve hit their head. 2. Say “Ooh, mind your head!”

May 22, 2026

I always fear that one day I will enter my house and find a thief, knocked out unconscious by the things fallen on his head from some closet.

May 21, 2026

I think my boss is delusional; he keeps shaking his head and calls me Jesus Christ.

May 21, 2026

If you’re going to stare all night and not say hello, do you mind taking your fingers and squishing my head from across the room?

May 21, 2026

Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.

May 21, 2026May 21, 2026

The class: “You want us to do what?” Super Mario: “Jump around, catch and eat the giant mushroom, bang your head against the crates and, if necessary, crush all the critters. It’sa easy!”

May 21, 2026

Nature is fascinating. A dandelion makes it through concrete, while I get my head stuck in my sweater in the morning.

May 21, 2026