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2 days ago
Share →: Can I come over and look at your Hot Wheels collection?

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Sure thing, but only if you promise not to race them in the living room! 🏎️🏠😄

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Valentine’s Day is a stupid and made up holiday unless someone wants to give me a present in which case I really believe in celebrating it.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

When you clean your room so well that the only trash left is you.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Livin’ la vida vodka!

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

This gum has my stomach convinced food is coming.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Sorry I’m unavailable… the horrors of reality insist upon themselves.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

I would love to have children one day. Two days maximum.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can’t eat anything when I’m asleep!

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Nobody is busier than a woman who isn’t into you.

Just shared via Messenger:

I have nothing in common with people who “forget to eat”.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Life begins when you can afford it.

Spotted on Threads:

Imagine you get to the gates of heaven and they make you download an app to go in.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

The sun really clocks out for the day before I do. That’s insane.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Dear Santa, Money!

Breaking via Slack:

Self-care is putting your face on a very soft cat.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Unsolicited sandwich pics.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Anytime I switch deodorants, it’s like a sexy stranger is following me around all day.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Tuesday is no better than Monday.

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Funny Hot Wheels quotes

New funny Hot Wheels quotes 👇

For even more funny Hot Wheels quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny Hot Wheels quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Just flipped my mattress, should have woken up my wife first.

It’s like winter is mad and keeps storming out, then coming back yelling ‘and another thing!’

If I found E.T., I would’ve developed his jump shot.

My home security system is just a copy of my paycheck taped to my front door.

Jewelry stores should just be like: Whether you’re trying to be nice or trying to get laid, we got you covered.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

My problem with Christmas shopping is that I keep seeing things that I like… for me.

Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city.

Dinosaurs are always described as “roaming” the earth, which is patronizing as hell, I bet they had places to go and important shit to do.

I can relate to God because it also takes me a full week to finish something that still kind of sucks.

I feel like people just come to the airport to cough.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Sleep well, middle finger—you’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.

My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

Seeing people exercising outside my house really motivated me to get up and close the blinds.

I don’t want to adult anymore. Don’t even want to be human. I want to be a goat. Jump around randomly, eat what I want, and head-butt anyone who annoys me.

The worst thing you can do when cleaning your house is “sit down for a minute.”

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Next time I lose my mind I swear I’m not even going to look for it any more.

If liars’ pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun.

My husband thinks he can just order me around like he’s one of the cats.

Men look so amazing for people who use the same product for their teeth, hair, floor and car washing.

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