Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Shorts should be half the price of pants.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Please hesitate to get in touch with me.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

I like warm weather but only to a certain degree.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

I have consumed so much potato salad the last couple of days, I’m sweating mayo.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

784 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,946

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,946

3 minutes ago

3,424

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

I drive home so quick after work like I’m late for the house.

Spotted on Threads:

Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

Making waves on Threads:

Any time I throw up, I stare at it like I’m getting a message from the past.

Just shared via Slack:

Told a couple of jokes at a Zoom meeting. Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Going viral on Slack:

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

Shared recently on Threads:

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

Just shared via Threads:

WhatsApp shouldn’t just display “seen”, but also “lies” and “also writes with other girls”!

Just landed via Instagram:

Home is where you can walk around like a bum.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I hate having a messy house. Not enough to actually clean it, but enough to give it a disgusted stare while I peacefully relax on the couch.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Dinosaurs are always described as “roaming” the earth, which is patronizing as hell, I bet they had places to go and important shit to do.

Home » Funny Houdini Quotes

Funny Houdini quotes

New funny Houdini quotes 👇

3 months ago
Share →: If they don’t look at you like you’re magic, disappear like Houdini.

Commentary:
"If they can't see your magic, it's time to pull a disappearing act like Houdini! ✨🎩✨ Remember, not everyone can handle your fabulousness!"

For even more funny Houdini quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny Houdini quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

784 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,946

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,946

3 minutes ago

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Just got sacked from my job at a think tank for thinking about donuts.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Don’t ever forget where you came from. That’s where you left your car.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

I forgot my password, failed the captcha and have been accused of being a robot. I don’t even know how to fight these allegations.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

If you sweat while you eat, it should count as a workout.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Humans can accomplish so much, unless it’s parking at a shopping center during the holidays.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Is it still murder if they said, “Some other time,” but I thought they said smother time?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

April fools prank: replace all the sugar in your house with cocaine.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

When you really want to slap someone, do it and say, “Mosquito!

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

My favorite conspiracy theory is that things will get better.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I’m convinced a lot of people online are communicating from prison.

Spotted on Twitch:

I’d imagine the sound of clowns having sex would just be a cacophony of bicycle horns.

Making waves on YouTube:

My muffin top has become a full blown birthday cake.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

At some point, my colleagues will manage to get me my own true crime documentary on Netflix.

Making waves on Snapchat:

It sucks that crazy people ruined wearing tinfoil hats for those of us that just did it for fashion purposes.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I bet the kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were surprised when found out their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Trending via Telegram:

One day my kids will move out and discover the dishes don’t clean themselves and I feel for them. I really do.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Wait. We’re now turning plants into burgers? Haven’t cows been doing that like, forever.

Breaking via X:

There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴