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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Everyone who dramatically ‘quits’ social media is back in 48 hours like it was just a trial separation.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

I don’t want to adult anymore. Don’t even want to be human. I want to be a goat. Jump around randomly, eat what I want, and head-butt anyone who annoys me.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Opening up to a woman is like talking to the police, anything you say can and will be used against you.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Another Monday that no one asked for.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

“I didn’t vote for this.” — people who absolutely voted for this but thought this would only hurt people they hate.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

I want a small, tasteful wedding. No family. No friends. No groom. Just me eating a big cake.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

A wise man once said: “Yes, darling. You’re right.”

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Your future doctor is using ChatGPT to pass med school so you better start eating healthy.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Someone at work had a 25-year anniversary, and it took everything in me not to say she’s been working longer than I’ve been alive.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,628

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

My favorite things about Texas are definitely toast and chainsaw massacres.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

When they make a Hate Island, somebody link me.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Printers are definitely the moody teenagers of the tech world.

Trending via Slack:

Looking to sell my DeLorean. Great shape, low mileage. Only driven from time to time.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Adding “scroll for two hours” to my To-Do list, so I won’t do it.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

One person’s logic is another one’s “what the heck?”

Going viral on Telegram:

You learn a lot about someone when you marry them. For example, I learned I should have married someone else.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Damn, how much daylight are they trying to save? It’s dark as hell.

Breaking via Telegram:

I never though I’d be the kind of person who wakes up early to exercise. I was right.

Going viral on TikTok:

Nothing makes me feel more powerful than when I write ‘furthermore’ in an email.

Home » Funny Icu Quotes

Funny ICU quotes

New funny ICU quotes 👇

If you get injured playing peekaboo, you end up in the ICU.

0

2 months ago

end, game, humor, ICU, injured, injury, peekaboo, play, playing

All funny ICU quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m already cold. I know me and my low iron ain’t gonna survive winter.

28 shares on Reddit this month:

I often wonder how men could discover entire continents. Mine can’t even find the butter in the fridge.

72 shares on Twitch this month:

The worst part of all-you-can-eat buffets are all the witnesses.

64 shares on Twitch this month:

Of course I do cardio. It’s called running from my problems.

11 shares on YouTube this month:

Pumpkin spice season comes earlier every year and yet some still deny climate change.

100 shares on Discord this month:

I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

96 shares on Messenger this month:

Someday I’ll learn how to emotion like a proper human.

20 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Stop telling people to grow up. Have you seen adults?

23 shares on Discord this month:

Not looking for a sugar daddy, but something more of a pay pal.

75 shares on Discord this month:

I will never understand people’s fascination with their ancestry, isn’t knowing your current family bad enough.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Are you really a personal trainer or do you just want to wear shorts to work every day?

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

No one my age is single because they’re all unhappily married.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Wearing white pants today, so it’s really just a matter of time before I spill something on myself.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

I got my patience from waiting half the day to download a song from Limewire.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

One day you’re cool and then the next, you realize your favorite pair of pants are sweatpants from the grocery store.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

I wanna be a jellyfish— no heart, no brain, no feelings, no pain— just blub blub blub.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

My greatest aspiration is to one day solve a murder on a train.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

I don’t hide from my problems, I just ignore them until they lose interest.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

I probably think this song is about me.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

Once when I was exercising, I realized that I was allergic to it. I was out of breath, sweating and my heart was racing.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

People believe that they have brains but maybe that’s just inside their heads.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Accidentally turned my clocks back too far and ended up at a Wham concert.

Live now on X:

Too bad mosquitos are not into human fat the way they are into human blood.

Trending via Facebook:

December. A desperate celebration of an end.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The Gulf of Mexico should’ve been renamed to Sea Señor.

Spotted on Twitch:

“Doing the dishes” is completely pointless and only wastes water. You’re just going to put food on them again in a few hours.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Strangers vomiting their beliefs all over you every day is not good for the soul.

Just landed via Slack:

I highly recommend having hobbies, it distracts you from falling in love unnecessarily.

Spotted on Telegram:

It’s nice to have a moment to breathe before reality knocks the wind out of you again.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Funny ICU quotes

New funny ICU quotes 👇

If you get injured playing peekaboo, you end up in the ICU.

All funny ICU quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨