Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Don’t forget to overestimate your importance today.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

I don’t even check my bank account no more. I just swipe my card and if it’s god’s will, money will be debited.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Oops, I accidentally healed too much. I am now uninterested in anyone but mẹ.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

There are people that make their bed every morning and people who think it’s a waste of time, and then they marry each other.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Release that sexual frustration, get a burger.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go, I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

You’re the ‘S’ to my ‘HTTP’; without you, I’m just a bad connection!

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

If I were a mouse and I lived in Moscow, I would think, haha, I live in Mousecow!

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

My first mistake was leaving the womb.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,456

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

Nothing ruins my day quite like getting out of bed and dealing with people.

Breaking via Instagram:

Is stir-fry the only dish where the instructions are in the name?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

If you lift the cat off the couch and it sounds like Velcro, then it didn’t want to leave.

Shared recently on YouTube:

If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

Seen just now on Instagram:

That was a nice hour long Twitter scroll. Feel much worse as always. See you guys tomorrow.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to smart people with a refined sense of beauty.

Breaking via Instagram:

I took your advice and worked smarter not harder. Now I’m going to need your advice on a good lawyer.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I get it cicadas, I’m ready to scream for six weeks too.

Just landed via WeChat:

Rudolph’s bright red nose would not have done anything to improve Santa’s visibility in dense fog.

Live now on Instagram:

Avocado is just green butter.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

Spending money on disappointing food is a different type of pain.

39 shares on Telegram this month:

If you hide the Easter eggs while you’re drunk, nobody knows where they are.

33 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?

45 shares on X this month:

Do you enjoy addiction, anxiety, and urinating? Then coffee may be the beverage for you.

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Just found out it don’t matter how early I go to bed, I just don’t wanna go to work.

15 shares on Slack this month:

Waking up early is cool until it starts feeling like you’ve had a long day at 10 a.m.

93 shares on X this month:

Who decided that “microwaves that beep forever” was a feature we needed.

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t understand people who say “I don’t know how to thank you.” Like they never heard of money.

32 shares on Messenger this month:

I need an emergency cheeseburger.

28 shares on TikTok this month:

The amount of water you actually need to drink to be hydrated is so obscene. Who does this body think it is? A data center?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Opened two gifts this morning, and they were my eyes.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Thank you for the opportunity but I don’t think being human is a good fit for me. I’m going to go back to school to become an octopus.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Never trust a man that’s good at flirting. He’s had too much practice.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag, but I’m on hold and my call is important to them.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I was a moose. No work, no school, just eating grass and wrecking cars.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The hottest part of sex is when I take off my glasses and put them in a safe place.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t need fun to have alcohol.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Interrupt my sleep and I’ll interrupt your breathing.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I love how “sleeping in” used to mean noon, and now it means 8:30 a.m.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,435

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Entered this world crying, and honestly, not much has changed.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

FOMO? No, I’ve got FOBI. Fear of being invited.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Do we barbecue with women or without salad?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

The sexual tension between me and the alternate reality I daydream about.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Ratatouille is hilarious because the villain wasn’t even evil; he just didn’t want food cooked by rats?!?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a boy that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Sorry, I wasn’t really listening but that’s awesome, unless it isn’t of course.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Almost all of my bad decisions are food-related.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Imagine how loud a centipede would be if they wore tiny little flip flops.

Trending via YouTube:

Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?

Shared recently on Instagram:

Once I started spending my own money, I realized my mom was right. We do have food at home.

Going viral on X:

Nobody views your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Making waves on Twitch:

This is a horrible time in history to be a decent human being.

Live now on Messenger:

You say “multitask” like it’s a good thing.

Seen just now on Discord:

First you’re cringe, then you’re the blueprint.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Not eating the cookie I’m craving. I better wake up skinny tomorrow.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Blocking me is like blocking the sun, the moon and the stars.

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