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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Solitude never hits you with unsolicited opinions.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

I’d rather be spotted in a strip club than a Subway.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Co-worker: You look so unapproachable. Me: Yet, here you are.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

I once made the irresponsible decision to drink and drive and now I have to live the rest of my days with a coffee stain on my favorite sweater.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

A fun thing to do on a first date is wear a wedding dress.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

I love people who are fluent in Spongebob references.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Our parents used to drop us off at school with no water bottle, no phone and no snacks, yet somehow we survived.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

I just borrowed some money from a cash app, now I’m about to uninstall it.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

I wear black because it’s slimming. Exercise is also slimming, but like I said, I wear black.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Jan 2, 2026

3,229

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.

Just landed via Reddit:

When I tell my kids I’ll do something in a minute, what I’m really saying is “Please forget.”

Seen just now on Telegram:

Authentic isn’t automatically good. You could be an authentic douchebag.

Spotted on Facebook:

Just once I wanna slide down a dinosaur at the end of my workday, is that too much to ask for?

Just shared via Discord:

I don’t understand why bugs come inside when they have a whole outside to themselves.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Dear music, thanks!

Just landed via Instagram:

If we start flirting now, we could be in matching pajamas on a Christmas card before the holidays.

Going viral on Snapchat:

The Netflix “Recommended For You” list is why I have trust issues.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

If I were to “picture everybody in the room naked,” I would be stunned and in awe of the beauty and diversity of the human form before me. But thanks for the advice.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

That awkward moment when someone is doing the dishes, and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Funny investing quotes

Funny investing quotes bring a splash of humor 🎉 to the serious world of stocks and finance 📈. They remind us that even when the market plays tricks 🤡, a good laugh can keep stress at bay 😄. Whether you’re a seasoned trader or just starting out 🚀, these witty gems make investing feel a little less intimidating and a lot more fun! Ready to smile while you strategize? 😎💸

New funny investing quotes 👇

There are so many people going to hell. I’m thinking of investing in some property there.

0

2 months ago

afterlife, estate, going, hell, humor, investing, investment, people, property, real, real estate, sarcasm, thinking
Daylight savings is not enough. You need to be daylight investing.

0

2 months ago

change, clever, clever expressions, daylight, daylight investing, daylight savings, enough, expressions, humor, investing, management, need, play, play on words, savings, time, time change, time management, words

All funny investing quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Reddit this month:

To me, essential oils are what drips out of tacos.

48 shares on Pinterest this month:

Born to be quiet and mysterious, forced to yap whenever I get the chance.

52 shares on Threads this month:

Can’t, holding a grudge.

68 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m almost finished reading your tweet. Love it so far.

23 shares on Twitch this month:

Summer Olympics is just me swimming in sweat and wrestling with my sports bra.

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I named my dog “5 Miles,” so I can tell people I walk 5 miles every day.

28 shares on Slack this month:

I’m a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

21 shares on WeChat this month:

Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

51 shares on X this month:

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

13 shares on Threads this month:

How great is it to do absolutely nothing and follow it up by taking a rest.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

“The engine light is on!” Yeah, that means it’s working.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Mario Kart gave me unrealistic expectations of how banana peels affect traffic.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Winter. You get up, drink coffee and then it gets dark.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If you can’t handle me while I’m broke, then you don’t deserve me when I have $600.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My spirit animal is that bird that knocks itself unconscious flying into windows.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when toddlers passionately talk to you about absolutely nothing.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The pain of watching a movie with someone who talks a lot.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I like my men like I like my coffee, secretly alcoholic.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If people continue to behave so badly, I will donate my organs to an animal shelter.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,626

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Please respond to my telepathic messages.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Don’t be part of the problem. Be all of it.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

(british guy unhooking your bra) All right, what’s all this, then?

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Everyone tells me “take care”, but no one tells me why.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

If pills are too toxic to flush down the toilet, you probably shouldn’t swallow them.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I need to watch his hairline recede.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Well, I’ve been depressed and poor, but sure, we’ll call it intermittent fasting.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Do you ever find yourself just thinkin’ about bread?

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

My social circle is so small that when the phone rings, I know it’s scammers.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via TikTok:

Time machine? You mean a clock?

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Dear Apple, at no point will I ever text someone “he’ll yeah” ..

Going viral on WhatsApp:

My husband threw away a perfectly good box as if we might not need it in 20 years.

Just shared via TikTok:

I think if you ask Kanye for a million at the right time, he’ll give it to you.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped school.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Sorry, can’t. I’m too busy growing new neural pathways to make space for a stranger’s opinion. Evolution takes bandwidth, man.

Shared recently on Threads:

Clicking on a suspicious link at work just to feel something.

Shared recently on Telegram:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you, you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

Breaking via YouTube:

I don’t have an advent calendar, so I’m just opening cupboard doors and eating what’s in there.

Going viral on YouTube:

Imagine hating me and I don’t notice.

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