Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

I ordered mushrooms on my pizza. When do they kick in?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

You can be under 25, just don’t do it around me.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

I dreamed I won the lottery, so you can imagine how thrilled I was to wake up and get ready for work.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Ramen is just anime spaghetti.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

This bouncer’s lucky I’m with my lady and physically frightened of him or he’d be in a world of pain.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

“How would you describe yourself.” Me: I absolutely would not.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

I bet the guy who named the sperm whale wasn’t allowed to name things anymore after that.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Caesar, looking shocked: “Is it bring your knife to work day or something?”

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

The only time your man will surprise you is when you specifically tell him what you want.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Having a job is crazy. When you’re at home, you feel lonely and want to go to work. When you’re at work, you’re exhausted and just want to go home.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,586

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

I love when I come home, I put on my Adam Sandler clothes.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’d end my life from loneliness before I ever talk to ChatGPT like it’s my friend.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

No, he didn’t ghost you, you just left him speechless, forever.

Seen just now on Slack:

Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Twitter is like group therapy but everyone’s yelling and no one’s licensed.

Going viral on Messenger:

I don’t think astronauts should be allowed to come back. You made your choice.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Sparkling water tastes like that feeling when your foot falls asleep.

Breaking via Telegram:

Please congratulate me on my cool new position! It is the fetal position; I will be in it for a while.

Trending via Slack:

I wish someone would light up the way Siri does when I say, “Hey.”

Live now on Snapchat:

Men invented arm wrestling so they could hold hands and look into each other’s eyes.

Funny investing quotes

Funny investing quotes bring a splash of humor 🎉 to the serious world of stocks and finance 📈. They remind us that even when the market plays tricks 🤡, a good laugh can keep stress at bay 😄. Whether you’re a seasoned trader or just starting out 🚀, these witty gems make investing feel a little less intimidating and a lot more fun! Ready to smile while you strategize? 😎💸

New funny investing quotes 👇

There are so many people going to hell. I’m thinking of investing in some property there.

1 month ago

afterlife, estate, going, hell, humor, investing, investment, people, property, real, real estate, sarcasm, thinking
Daylight savings is not enough. You need to be daylight investing.

1 month ago

change, clever, clever expressions, daylight, daylight investing, daylight savings, enough, expressions, humor, investing, management, need, play, play on words, savings, time, time change, time management, words

All funny investing quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Twitch this month:

My ego is bruised so I’m going to ice it with some cold beer.

59 shares on Reddit this month:

I deserve a dragon after all I’ve been through.

66 shares on Instagram this month:

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

Buying groceries with no food stamps should boost your credit score.

99 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m having a garage sale and hope people I’ve borrowed things from don’t come.

19 shares on Reddit this month:

That moment when rappers mispronounce a word just to make it rhyme.

48 shares on Discord this month:

No, I don’t comment, I voodoo doll like a real adult.

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

University is more like teaching yourself for a class you paid for.

92 shares on X this month:

Real introverts are too introverted to tell people they’re introverts.

72 shares on Reddit this month:

Don’t listen to them, little password. You are strong.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I could physically experience the inside of a lava lamp.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m really good at compromising as long as I get my way.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Most of my shoulder workout comes from shrugging when people ask me questions.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Sex is like tacos. I wish I were having some now.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Why a bug would spend such a long fraction of its short life immobile on my ceiling beats me.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

You got a better chance getting chased by a dog than by me.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The struggle to get off the couch and into bed is real.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Have you ever apologized to your car after you hit a pothole?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My hobby is misidentifying dinosaurs so my daughter can correct me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,769

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

At the club asking for Ibuprofen.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

There’s nothing scarier than sneezing with a full cup of coffee in your hand.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping they’re braver than me.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Becoming a DJ, but only because I like to impose my will and preferences upon the masses.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

A lobotomy and a forehead kiss would fix everything.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Bugs have so many legs to make up for their lack of personality.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

If alcohol damages your short-term memory, imagine what alcohol can do.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

I just looked over at my new shoes and the box says “vegan”. I’ve never had to feed my other shoes before.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

My OnlyFans is just hours of me untangling Christmas lights.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

To whoever has my voodoo doll, please stop making her go to work.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

Rudolph’s bright red nose would not have done anything to improve Santa’s visibility in dense fog.

Going viral on WeChat:

The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Life is short, unless you’re listening to a kid describing an episode of PAW Patrol.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

Just shared via WeChat:

I woke up from a deep sleep in a panic thinking I was late for work. Thankfully, I was already there.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

If I ever went to jail for murder, it would be for murdering my printer.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

“Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

Just shared via Twitch:

I really love how squirrels get extra chubby heading into winter mostly because it’s super relatable.

Just landed via Facebook:

Any room can be a rage room if you just give me a minute.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Alexa, turn off the planet.

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