Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

My girlfriend? You wouldn’t know her, she’s in a different data center.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

The fastest mammal on earth is the smartass on the web.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

“You look happy.” Thanks, I stopped dating.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

I don’t make mistakes, I date them.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Stop telling people to grow up. Have you seen adults?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Those astronauts that just landed? They should be greeted by chimpanzees on horses.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Might start a YouTube channel “will it hurt if I drop it on my foot”.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

I think my bank account has been taking Ozempic.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

I don’t know how to mop my kitchen floor without pretending l’m cleaning up a gruesome crime scene.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2382 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,544

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,544

1 hour ago

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Threads:

I’m lacking vitamin c-ash.

Spotted on Telegram:

In filling out an application, where it says, “In case of emergency notify”, I put “Doctor.”

Just landed via X:

Oh, you like NYC? Name every rat.

Going viral on TikTok:

Ain’t no girls in my messages, just a bunch of verification codes.

Just shared via TikTok:

Behind every funny man is a woman who rolls her eyes.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

This post is highly top-secret. You need to forget that you’ve seen it immediately.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Winter. You get up, drink coffee and then it gets dark.

Going viral on Telegram:

How I flirt? I look at an attractive person several times and hope that they are bolder than me.

Just landed via X:

What’s a polite way to tell someone you hope they get mauled by a bear?

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.

Home » Funny Irony Quotes » Page 146

1520 Funny irony quotes

More funny irony quotes 👇

Jan 20, 2025
Share →: Why is it called “free time” when I use it to spend all my money?

Commentary:
"Ah, the irony of 'free time' – a misnomer for sure! It's like a budgeting black hole where money disappears faster than a magician's rabbit 🎩🐇💸 Who knew being financially liberated could come with such a price tag? 😂💸 #MoneyFleesWhenFree"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: There is sex without love, there is love without sex, and there is me without both.

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal triangle of relationships: sex, love, and… wait, where's my pizza? 🍕🤷‍♂️ #SingleAndReadyForCarbs"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.

Commentary:
Looks like love truly is blind 😜👀 Just remember, sometimes it's better to swipe left and take a double-take before swiping right! 💔❤️
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: Don’t be part of the problem. Be all of it.

Commentary:
"Instead of just dipping your toes in the pool of problems, dive right in and do some synchronized swimming with them! 💦 Embrace your inner problem child and show those obstacles who's boss. 💪 Your motto: If you're gonna be a problem, might as well be the whole enchilada! 🌮😄"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.

Commentary:
"Guess who's mastered the art of multitasking and monotasking at the same time? 🤷‍♂️💭 Who needs a planner when you can surprise yourself with your own forgetfulness! 😂 #Skillz"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: Follow me on Instagram if you want to see me post absolutely nothing for weeks.

Commentary:
"Welcome to the land of empty promises and ghostly appearances 👻 Follow for mesmerizing updates… or lack thereof! 😂 #InstagramLife"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: Doing an hour of self-care after 23 hours of self-destruction.

Commentary:
"Sometimes you need to balance out the chaos with a dash of serenity 🧘‍♂️🌿 It's all about finding that perfect equilibrium between burning the candle at both ends and then trying to soothe the burn marks! 🕯️🔥😅 #SelfCareStruggles"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: If only my bank balance was as high as my daily calorie intake.

Commentary:
"If only my bank balance could match the extravagance of my daily calorie intake! 🍔💸 Oh, the dreams we dare to dream between the fries and the funds… 😅 #LifeGoals #FoodieFinance"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: Nearly choked on a carrot. A donut would never do that to me.

Commentary:
"Carrots: the silent danger lurking in your salad bowl 🥕 Donuts: always ready to sweetly embrace you 🍩 Choose your snacks wisely, folks! 😉"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: Stranger: Your children are angels. Me: So was the devil.

Commentary:
"Stranger: Your children are angels. 👼 Me: So was the devil. 😈 Who says innocence can't be mischievous!?"

For even more funny irony quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny irony quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2382 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,544

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,544

1 hour ago

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Going to have a hobbit boi summer (throw a huge birthday party for myself, then mysteriously vanish right after insulting everyone).

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

I’ve arrived like the sun: blinding, necessary, and impossible to ignore.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

8 year gap on resume that just says “karate”.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Today is one of those days where I have to remind myself that you’re not allowed to strangle people.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Every girl’s personal hell is being too excited about their birthday and it ends up being the worst day ever.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

I’ll marry your mom just so I can ground you.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

“Oh, I’d love to but I can’t.” Translation: I don’t want to so I won’t.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

My immune system told me it’s a lover not a fighter.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

I swear, one more minor inconvenience and I’m running away to join the circus.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.

Making waves on Reddit:

I have been touched inappropriately by the sun today.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Welcome to the internet, where people are confidently wrong all the time.

Breaking via TikTok:

What doesn’t kill you gives you a twisted, dark sense of humor.

Broadcasted on Threads:

You know how a dog tilts his head and looks confused when he hears a strange sound? Yeah, that’s how I feel when some people are talking.

Spotted on Slack:

The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

Seen just now on Messenger:

8 pm to 10 pm on a weeknight is the shortest that two hours can possibly be.

Just shared via Threads:

What’s wrong with the people who come to visit on Sundays? Don’t they have a couch?

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I heard you like bad boys. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴