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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Stop normalizing things, we’ll run out of the weird shit.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

If you love someone, let them go. If they come back with snacks, it was always meant to be.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m sick of the Microsoft Authenticator. Like, who would be logging in to do my work?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Establish dominance by eating a salad in front of your indoor plants.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

If i say “morning!” to you, it does not mean “good morning”, I am merely exclaiming in horror that it is morning.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

I don’t freak out until I see the Buddhists freaking out.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Every guy wants to be called Daddy till that test comes back positive.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

How dare this person in traffic hold me up for seconds on the way to a place that doesn’t require my immediate presence?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

I usually decompose after work rather than decompress.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Dude, we’re gonna be treating others how we want to be treated later if you wanna pull up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

824 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,986

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,986

Updated

19 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren’t happy.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Boss: You’ll never find another job like this. Me: That’d be great.

Just shared via YouTube:

I hate commas. It’s not my job to tell you when you breathe. Work it out, you’re a grown adult.

Breaking via Discord:

Always remember, if you ever need me, I’m just several phone calls and unread texts away.

Just shared via Threads:

Is this art or trash?

Just shared via Threads:

I didn’t lose a girlfriend, I gained an enemy.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I could tell my beard needed a trim when I started seeing some of the pictures my kids were drawing of me.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Have kids so you can say things you never thought you would like “please don’t vacuum your sister”

Seen just now on Telegram:

Seize the day! Unless it sucks. Then seize the next one.

Seen just now on Messenger:

My immune system told me it’s a lover not a fighter.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

824 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,986

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,986

Updated

19 minutes ago

Users Online

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Never make a promise you can’t keep rescheduling.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

This meeting could have been a painting in a museum of boredom.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Don’t worry password, I’m insecure too.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

With a cat on your lap, you deal better with the crap.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Sorry if my posts have any typos, it’s because I’m driving.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

There are real people living amongst us who pay for Discord Nitro.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Hello taxi, off to Friday please. Money doesn’t matter!

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

I’ve learned two important things in life, I can’t remember the first one, but the second one is to write everything down.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Christmas is the season of giving, and I’m giving up for good.

Just landed via Messenger:

Gatekeeping how insanely handsome I am by looking like total shit all the time.

Just landed via Discord:

All pants are tear away pants if you’re strong enough.

Just landed via WeChat:

Welcome to your 40s: it’s Saturday night so you know what that means, absolutely nothing, go to bed.

Freshly posted on Threads:

The introverted urge to spend a week alone at home after many holidays and family gatherings.

Going viral on Facebook:

I’m a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Spotted on Snapchat:

And where did Mr. Pepper receive his degree from exactly?

Spotted on X:

I stay up late every night, regret it in the morning, and the next day I do it all over again.

Going viral on YouTube:

Me, on New Year’s Eve: I think instead of kissing at midnight, I’m just going to go outside and scream.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Having a toddler is wild. I’m getting breaking news about Peppa Pig.

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