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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Hello bedtime my old friend, my brain is laughing once again.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

I could never give up my dog, he knows too much.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

You befriend a guy and a few days later he’s like “I wanna talk to you about something”. Please, God, let it be about the economy.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

I go to tattoo parlors and trick them into shaving my leg for me, and then leave.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Enemies to lovers is only good if they’re gay. If I wanted to see a man and a woman yell at each other, I’d just go downstairs and eat with my parents.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

People just don’t stop, collaborate, and listen like they used to.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

It’s weird how the UFO’s always seem to crash in places that only the government and military have access to.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Beer is like the color black: it goes with everything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,706

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WeChat:

Isn’t it beautiful how ‘Bruh’ has stood the test of time all these years.

Shared recently on Reddit:

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

Just shared via Snapchat:

My parents didn’t raise me to be rude, I had to practice.

Spotted on YouTube:

And no thanking Jesus unless he actually shows up at the ceremony.

Seen just now on Threads:

People who live alone should get one practice conversation before they have to speak out loud for the first time that day.

Spotted on Messenger:

I wanna stand with you on a mountain and throw you into the sea, or whatever Savage Garden was on about.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know I’m on their side.

Trending via Threads:

I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, phone, temper, and my mind.

Trending via Twitch:

They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

Trending via WhatsApp:

People are too casual about the fact that parrots can talk.

Funny lost and found quotes

New funny lost and found quotes 👇

All funny lost and found quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Facebook this month:

(While my wife opens up her Christmas present) Remember when you said we needed milk?

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

And then I thought to myself, “What’s the point of cleaning if my family is going to keep living here?”

14 shares on Facebook this month:

Ask your girlfriend for her ring size and then give her a personalized bowling ball.

73 shares on Messenger this month:

Why spend like $300 Dollars on a pair of shoes? Do you know how many chicken nuggets you can buy with that money?

12 shares on Snapchat this month:

I changed my Facebook name to “Benefits.” Now, when people add me, it says, “You are now friends with benefits.”

65 shares on Slack this month:

I’ve never met a cake I didn’t want to fork.

72 shares on Telegram this month:

Girlfriend says because we got Chinese yesterday, we can’t get it again today. I don’t think that makes sense. They do it in China all the time.

20 shares on Threads this month:

Today I told my daughter she’s giving me a headache! She told me “For suggestions and complaints, contact the manufacturer.”

23 shares on Discord this month:

Wow, you have a very impressive collection of strange tendencies.

49 shares on Threads this month:

Told my girl I’m tired of her dramas and she bought me an energy drink.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I like my men like I like my coffee, secretly alcoholic.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

What do you mean a baguette isn’t a female bag?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today. I need the blood of my enemies.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My daily exercise routine involves running late, jumping to conclusions and pushing my luck.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Nutrition labels should include an “What if I ate the whole thing” section.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Enjoy the time between diapers!

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40s: here’s ten pounds.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Another fine day ruined by responsibilities.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite part of my workday is when I grab my shit and leave.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

You wish you had this many chins.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,692

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

If I say, “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared peer-reviewed research, data, and charts, and I will destroy you.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

So tomorrow is Monday again? I can’t keep living like this.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

I need to consult the woods about this.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply, thank you.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Real introverts are too introverted to tell people they’re introverts.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m so tired of not being a multimillionaire.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Find someone who looks at you the way I look at a cheeseburger.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Job-hopping is a funny concept, like ‘Hey, I’m gonna go hate my life over there instead.’

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

The best part about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours – left, right, middle.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean it won’t be a good time.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

Going viral on YouTube:

It’s like ten thousand views when all you need is a like.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

When someone asks why you don’t have kids just say “dingoes”.

Trending via Facebook:

Relationship status: he escaped.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I will selflessly protect my family from a life of diabetes by eating all the sweets myself.

Breaking via Twitch:

No one is excited to see me in shorts except mosquitoes.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Sausage might clog my arteries, but it lubricates my soul.

Shared recently on Threads:

Nothing angers me more than tall ghosts in horror movies. No one born in 1782 was that tall. Do your research, screenwriters.

Just shared via YouTube:

The worst thing you can do when cleaning your house is “sit down for a minute.”

Going viral on Messenger:

Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

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