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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

My only chance at a big house in the country is if I become a rescue dog.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I wanna delete all my social media and throw my phone into a river.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

“What’s love?” Grandma sliding money into my hand like a drug dealer. Yeah, man, that’s love.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Is Mercury in reggaeton?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

The cool side of the pillow just stole my boyfriend.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Menstruation is bizarre. It’s like something David Lynch would have came up with.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Accidentally punched myself in the face as I was getting dressed this morning, and I have to say, I deserved it.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, there are only 4 days until Christmas.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,553

Funny Quotes Topics

16,782

Funny Quotes Images

14,553

Updated

Nov 27, 2025

Users Online

3,707

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Pinterest:

December, give me a sweet ending for this year please.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Yes, I do talk to myself, everyone else just wants to argue with me.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Big fan of taking a huge bite and then nodding while I chew. You make an excellent point, food.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I don’t even know what I’d do if a sailor called me a landlubber. I’d probably lose my cool.

Breaking via Messenger:

People always ask me why there’s a chair in my shower. Who the hell eats breakfast standing up?

Spotted on WeChat:

It really annoys me when people use the wrong word and don’t have the humidity to admit it.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

That looks like a problem for someone else.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Sometimes I wanna delete all my social media and throw my phone into a river.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Happy to report that “what time is it/time for you to get a watch” is still being used by the youths.

Spotted on Instagram:

I swear some songs have background noises of your mum shouting your name from downstairs.

Home » Funny Mayo Quotes

Funny mayo quotes

Funny mayo quotes always bring a creamy swirl of humor to any conversation 🥪😄 Whether you’re a mayo lover or just here for the laughs, these witty one-liners spread smiles thicker than your favorite sandwich spread 🍞✨ Get ready to dip into some hilarious sayings that prove mayo is more than just a condiment—it’s a mood! 😂💛

New funny mayo quotes 👇

All funny mayo quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,553

Funny Quotes Topics

16,782

Funny Quotes Images

14,553

Updated

Nov 27, 2025

Users Online

3,918

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

The Netflix “Recommended For You” list is why I have trust issues.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

I’m a simple person. All I need in life to be happy is to have everything go my way and work out how I want it to.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

If only guys would moan in bed like they do in the gym…

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Did you guys know that you can actually do whatever you want all the time?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Wish I could just go back to eating cookies and not knowing what day it was.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

WhatsApp needs to remove that “this message was deleted” notification. It’s unnecessary drama.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Can everyone log off? I need some time alone right now.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Golf would be more exciting to watch if they played naked.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Do clouds ever look down on us and say, “This one is shaped like an idiot”?

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via X:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not having a midlife crisis, you’re just awake.

Making waves on YouTube:

“Are you seeing someone?” Like a hallucination, therapist, or a guy?

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly. Fly far, far away and also so I can poop on people.

Making waves on Twitch:

Y’all need to stop marrying people who look just like you do but with a wig on.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I will marry a man who treats me delicately as if I’m a gift straight from heaven.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was performed by the child sitting behind me on a flight from LA to Tokyo.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

You cannot hurt me. You are not a hip-height table corner.

Just shared via TikTok:

Are there any medium rappers? They’re always Big or Lil.

Just landed via WeChat:

I bet oiling and wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil feels so good for the potato.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Drive as I say, not as I drive.

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