Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Technically, all the money I have ever spent on food has been flushed down the toilet.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Whoever’s been in charge of the weather for the last few weeks seems to have fallen asleep on the couch with the remote control in their hand.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Hey, sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Crying at my desk while also finding time to cry in the shower makes for a healthy work-life balance.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Ever since I was young, I wanted to check my email for a verification code.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

I pretend I don’t care about stuff, but that’s only because I have no idea what’s going on around me at any given time.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

If you ever think English is not a weird language just remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme. But read and lead don’t rhyme, and neither do read and lead.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Messages are way funnier when you know how the person talks.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

“Each to their own!” Translation: You’re wrong, but never mind.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

This meeting could have been a pajama party.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,563

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

Seriously? I came out of hibernation for this?

Breaking via Instagram:

When I take a shower I’m: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Going to a wedding really reminds me of the important things in life. Like cake.

Breaking via Facebook:

I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

Spotted on X:

It’s like 10,000 steps when all you need is a nap.

Trending via Twitch:

Before you try to save someone, make sure you’re not interrupting their karma.

Breaking via Facebook:

Someone needs to invent a theater seat that forcefully ejects you through the roof if you take your phone out during a movie.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Jobs are so clingy. Why do you need to see me 40 hours a week?

Live now on YouTube:

Laptops become possessed with slowness when they see that you are in a hurry.

Funny medical mishap quotes

New funny medical mishap quotes 👇

All funny medical mishap quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

Dating apps aren’t working. I’ll see ya at Home Depot, gentlemen.

48 shares on Discord this month:

Carrots are a great thing to eat when you’re hungry, and want to stay that way.

49 shares on Slack this month:

Would rather walk around a shop 500 times to find something than ask a member of staff who works there like a normal person.

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

The first Humans saw the sun go up and then back down, and so they decided to call it a day.

25 shares on TikTok this month:

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

62 shares on Instagram this month:

The most dangerous drinking game I play, is seeing how long I can go without coffee.

68 shares on Twitch this month:

Flour company: What if we sell it in a paper bag that’s not fully sealed at the bottom?

47 shares on Facebook this month:

The cynicism of those who urge me not to do what I can to help the Nigerian royal family.

34 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Lifting my wife’s wedding veil and finding out she’s Darth Maul.

23 shares on TikTok this month:

Never trust a man that’s good at flirting. He’s had too much practice.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

“We told you to stop at 2012!” – The Mayans

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Trust my gut? The thing that can’t even handle milk.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Headless mannequins are great because they let you see how you’ll look wearing a new shirt after you’ve been decapitated.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

A storm knows it’s laced with destruction, and yet it rages on.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I had bad luck with women twice. The first left me, the second stayed.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Men can stay up til 2 a.m., wake up at 6, be in debt, broke, alone, and still have faith that one day, everything will work out. It’s called being a man.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is a highway and I’m afraid to merge.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Not everyone realizes this, but if you clean the pile of receipts out of a purse and stack them together, it makes a teeny tiny book about why you’re broke.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,444

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

No, he didn’t ghost you, you just left him speechless, forever.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

You better pray to whatever god you serve that this email finds you before I do.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

I have tasted academic validation. I have tasted romantic love. I recommend getting a hobby.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

On one hand, it’s terrible to not have access to the Internet, but on the other hand, it’s terrible to have access to the Internet.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

It’s funny how when you’re at work, “Go to hell” comes out as “No problem.”

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Shout out to the dude who flipped me off in traffic. Making me feel all nostalgic for California, thank you.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Human hibernation should be a thing.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

If the earth was flat, many people would have already jumped off it.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Babies are undefeated at debate. Their gibberish is too passionate.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Check yourself before you Shrek yourself.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Dr. Pepper just unseated Pepsi as the second most popular soda in America. Don’t tell me that getting your PhD isn’t worth it.

Seen just now on Discord:

Penguins are just ducks going to a wedding.

Just landed via WeChat:

Teens be like, “You know that crumbled up piece of paper that’s been on the table all week? I need it for school.”

Shared recently on Telegram:

He died doing what he loved: trying to find out if gang members are ticklish.

Making waves on Facebook:

Just rolled a joint. Not to get high or anything. It was just my ankle.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Every Stranger Things scene is just a guy in a wig being like, ‘We have to stop them.’

Live now on Twitch:

If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

Spotted on Instagram:

Be yourself cause no one wants to be like you!

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