Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Noise-canceling headphones aren’t enough, I need everyone to shut up.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

I need new friends. The old ones know too much.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

You can either have a nice evening or you can help your child with their math homework. You can’t have both.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Incorrectly is the only word that, when spelled correctly, is still spelled incorrectly.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

I think nervous flatulence would be helpful if you were ever kidnapped.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Anyone know which wine pairs well with societal collapse?

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

“You’re so quick to cut someone off!” God forbid a girl actually has self-respect.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,476

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I just finished cleaning the house for Thanksgiving, so if you’re looking for my family they’ll be in the backyard until Thursday.

Making waves on Telegram:

Why would I go to my high school reunion? I didn’t want to be there the first time.

Shared recently on Discord:

I want someone to look at me the way I look at a travel booking website.

Just landed via WeChat:

If oats can be milk, you can be whatever you want.

Going viral on YouTube:

You’re all using your crystals wrong. Put them in a sock and start swinging.

Going viral on X:

Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

Just shared via Slack:

If you want your kid to play with their toy just give it to your other kid. Follow me for more parenting hacks.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Fun fact: The confetti you’ll see in Times Square tonight was made from one CVS receipt.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Welcome to your 40s. Your eyes are now like a camera someone doesn’t know how to focus.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

By the time he entered rehab, Popeye was more spinach than sailor man.

Funny melts quotes

New funny melts quotes 👇

All funny melts quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Instagram this month:

Am I the only person who would rather almost fall over carrying the shopping than walk a second time?

93 shares on Threads this month:

There is certainly no life on other planets. Otherwise our government would have sent money there long ago.

96 shares on Pinterest this month:

Opening this app is like lighting a cigarette.

84 shares on Discord this month:

A dating app for people who are shy called Mumble.

96 shares on Messenger this month:

Had to sit with a straight face while my landlord told me I was paying his rent and mortgage for him.

60 shares on Slack this month:

There is no reason to be a people pleaser. People are never pleased.

84 shares on Telegram this month:

If you’re reading a book in public, you better be on at least page 140 or something.

66 shares on Messenger this month:

The grass isn’t really greener over there; that’s just a filter.

76 shares on Discord this month:

All these laws are really getting in the way of my driving.

80 shares on Instagram this month:

Every time I use self-checkout, the person in front of me has never used self-checkout, touchscreens, or money before.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve never wrestled an angry alligator, but I have taken off a wet sports bra in the middle of summer. So, same thing.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If I was lying down and someone came up and gave me tons of kisses and smooshed my face, I’d love it. I don’t know what my cat’s problem is.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever read something so magnificently stupid that you have to just stare into space for a little while and reconcile with your brain for having been subjected to it?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes, u just gotta clean your room and apply an elaborate skincare routine, and pretend that’s equivalent to getting ur life in order.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Women know the exact weight of their children and their age in days. Men just know that little people live with them.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Dogs are man’s best friend because a dog would never blindside you with a group chat.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

No matter what’s going on in your life, there’s some form of potato that can make it better.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If I ever go missing, promise me that you won’t put my weight on the poster.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not saying I’m messy, but if Copperfield knew what I can make disappear, he’d be jealous.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,670

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

The absolute injustice of being asked to come and take away the boxes of junk that you’ve been storing at your parents’ house for 20 years.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

“You’re a cougar!” God forbid a woman gives back to the youth.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

I have consumed so much potato salad the last couple of days, I’m sweating mayo.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Blowing over it is also dusting.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

People always love to claim that a celebrity’s death is “unexpected”, but they never actually release the data on which celebrities they expected to die that day.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

I am a firm believer that singing ‘Slide Away’ at the top of your lungs changes you as a person.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I don’t understand, “kill them with kindness”; can I use a lightsaber instead?

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can get sleep paralysis.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Some of you have overdosed so hard on the propaganda, there’s nothing reality Narcan can do for you.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Being able to tolerate the sound of your own voice in a video is probably the highest form of self-acceptance.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

May the hardest part of your day be getting the jeans over your butt.

Making waves on Twitch:

Lately, when I meet new people, I ask them what their hobbies are instead of what they do for work, and let me tell you, the conversations have been absolutely top tier!

Making waves on WeChat:

Some days you have breakfast for dinner and live life on your own terms.

Just shared via Messenger:

Donating blood today to make room for more food.

Just landed via Threads:

A garlic a day keeps people away.

Shared recently on WeChat:

If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it?

Just shared via Pinterest:

The date didn’t go well but she was nice enough to send a PDF of everything I did wrong afterwards.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

For a long time, I didn’t know what to do with my strange thoughts. Then I signed up for Facebook.

Just shared via X:

Laziness is the art to rest before one gets tired.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I like deadlines. They make me functional.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴