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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Everyone wants the bagel to be everything, but no one asks if the bagel needs anything.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

I can’t flirt, but I’ll awkwardly giggle at everything you say.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

When physical labor became optional, we invented the gym. We’ll need the same thing for the mind.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

I once let a really short guy be the big spoon and it felt like I went to bed with a backpack on.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Just because I’m smiling doesn’t mean I like you, I might be picturing you on fire.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Starting all my work emails today with, “to whom it’s about to concern”.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

You don’t become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way of being cool. This is called the Geezer’s Paradox.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

When I worked as a restaurant critic, I wrote under a nom nom nom de plume.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

I think I’ll just sit here and waste oxygen all day.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

I think my boss is delusional; he keeps shaking his head and calls me Jesus Christ.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,705

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

Do you also watch porn until the end to see if they end up getting married?

Trending via YouTube:

Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Insane that you have to defend yourself at the end of the Ph. D.! Why are you attacking me? I’m so tired.

Going viral on Telegram:

My favourite animal is me when I have money.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Is it healthier to drink tap water and let the fluoride calcify my pineal gland or drink bottled spring water and let micro plastics settle in my balls?

Shared recently on Messenger:

Elect a clown, expect a circus.

Just landed via TikTok:

Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

Just landed via Messenger:

How long are you allowed to hide in the bathroom during family visits?

Just shared via X:

There’s some gifs that I’ve started to act out in real life as responses to situations.

Trending via Pinterest:

Retiring my wallet condom after two years of active duty. 87 tours with 0 combat deployments.

Funny menopause quotes

Funny menopause quotes bring a hilarious twist to those hot flashes and mood swings 🔥😂! Embrace the chaos with laughter, because sometimes all you need is a witty line to brighten the journey 🌟💃. Whether you’re sweating through the night or rocking the wisdom years, these quotes add a pinch of humor to the ups and downs of menopause 🤪💬. Get ready to laugh, relate, and feel fabulous at every stage!

New funny menopause quotes 👇

Snow White and the seven dwarves of the menopause; Itchy, Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated, Forgetful, and Psycho.

2 days ago

bitchy, bloated, dwarf, forgetful, health, humor, itchy, menopause, psycho, sleepy, snow, Snow White, sweaty, white, women’s, women’s health
Welcome to your 40s. Your bra wins the Oscar for the best actor in a supportive role.

3 days ago

40s, actor, adult, adult humor, aging, best, bra, bras, humor, menopause, Oscar, role, support, supportive, welcome, women

All funny menopause quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m ready to try another planet.

65 shares on Discord this month:

Starting to think I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

Wine drunk doesn’t even make itself known. You’re just relaxed, and then, all of a sudden, you feel sexier.

21 shares on Messenger this month:

Letting the sun have its way with my freckles today.

16 shares on Instagram this month:

Being a girl must be so easy. All you do is cry all day and text 10 different guys.

28 shares on WeChat this month:

I could have been the favorite mistress of the Sun King at Versailles, but nooooooooo I had to be born into late stage capitalism.

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

I love how this generation broke the previous misconception that “people with tattoos can’t get good jobs” and now we all agree that “people with and without tattoos can’t get good jobs”.

26 shares on YouTube this month:

When a door closes in life, sometimes it’s better to grab a hammer and nails and make sure the damn thing stays shut.

27 shares on Facebook this month:

Guns N’ Roses: “Welcome to the jungle!” The jungle: “No more humans, please!”

36 shares on Facebook this month:

Yes, we absolutely can push our meeting to sometime after the new year, or mid-March, or the year after next, or never.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My favourite yoga pose is the one where you lay really still and do nothing.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Gravity called. It’s sick of holding me up.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Game night with the family is only fun until I lose.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Just did my best horse impression and the doctor still won’t give me ketamine.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, as a therapist: “OMG, me too!”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry I pretended I was dead when I saw you in public.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Ruining the Olympics for my fiancée by, every time they mention Paris, saying, “that’s where Ratatouille lived”.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

She’s the kind of beautiful that makes me do 40 push-ups in my room at 3am.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The funniest thing I heard an elder say, “My generation had Wonder Woman, your generation has to wonder if it’s a woman.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,683

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

The only thing that has grown faster than rents in recent years is the overtime we have to work to pay them.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Cooking your own meals really is the best way to devote 50 hours of your life every month to save $50.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up; we had to manually roll up our cars’ windows.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

A lot of men actually do forgive cheating, as long as their homies don’t know.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

I’m doing pretty good for someone who rarely has a clue.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

I have a huge to-do list, I just have to figure out who’s gonna do it.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Lying to stupid people can give you a profound sense of satisfaction, it can also make you president.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Listen to your body? The body that craves a lethal amount of Kinder Bueno?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I only write when I am falling in love, or falling apart.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

I’m giving up eating chocolate for a month. Sorry, bad punctuation. I’m giving up. Eating chocolate for a month.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

I hate being a wage slave. I want to be a streamer that does nothing but react to videos all day, and then complain about how hard my life is.

Spotted on WeChat:

I love befriending yappers. They bring the yapping out of me. Then we yap together. Yapping is so much fun.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Having a crush is so stupid. Like, why is this dude in my head at 8 am?

Going bananas on Twitch:

Went to the hairdresser today and now I look much younger. I’m thinking about going back tomorrow.

Trending via Threads:

The real body count is how many people are in therapy because of you.

Spotted on WeChat:

“Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

Breaking via Snapchat:

“I’m going to get more sleep tonight” is always the first lie I tell myself in the morning.

Seen just now on Slack:

Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

They should invent a rest for the wicked.

Trending via Facebook:

Sometimes when I get negative feedback I’m like “Hey, only I get to talk to myself that way”.

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